So: story time. My favorite Super Bowl memory was that time I didn’t see Janet Jackson’s breast. (more…)
I am well behind on updates of my Man Cave Daily stuff, but here’s one I’m kind of proud of: “Don’t Be That Dude: Telling a Woman How She Should Look,” a non-shamey guide to basic human interaction of the guys and girls variety, based on rad human being Christina Topacio’s interaction with a guy who’s into her…sorta. It’s all kinds of awkward and she strides through it like a champ.
I also did a piece on spots in NYC that have yielded some of my favorite dates (or just adventures). Love is actually shown to outer boroughs, because I care about you, New York. It includes the best tiki bar on the East Coast.
Everything else is coming, but it’s mostly interviews, reviews, wishlists, comic previews, and weird search terms–i.e. regular features. Those two were my fun projects this spring. I have the best job in the world. Probably. I mean…golf club tester is probably a good one too.
Oh, and I have a couple of possible projects in the works that aren’t prose and aren’t for the web. Hopefully both will come to fruition and I can talk about them soon.
Oh man, I have not been good with the posty-posty about my Cracked work this year. I’ve never had my computer on so little as in 2015. I’m getting about one article a month up between my day job and a couple high-yield freelance opportunities I can’t talk about until they’re reality (but oh boy oh boy when I can–!) but that is steadily improving. I’m closing out old projects and being careful before opening new ones.
Here’s what I did for my beloved Cracked in the front half of the year:
5 Times Gold Made Something Less Valuable — I really enjoyed doing this one because I felt it was a different concept than the standard fare, I dug up some cool research, and I got some good lines in. I still chuckle at the stunned disbelief of “They added gold to money and managed to devalue both.”
6 Reasons Valentine’s Day is Going to Suck This Year — For some reason I crap on Valentine’s Day every year even though I enjoy it and I’m pretty good at it. This is that.
5 Reasons Irish People Don’t Love American St. Patty’s Day — Oh, this was such a fun one day. Luke McKinney and I collaborated on it after kicking around the idea for a couple of years running and then finally prepping well enough in advance. I proposed we just compare our experiences, but I think he’s the one who wisely morphed it into how American St. Patrick’s Day doesn’t half resemble the Irish one.
It was like playing a game of catch. We threw down a bunch of thoughts, had a fun discussion, then trimmed it to a manageable amount, adding jokes in each pass. It was a different way to work, but it was cool to watch an article grow even if you felt you’d said all you could.
Luke’s from Donegal, and every Irish person I’ve ever met who’s used to humoring Americans has said, “McGinley, eh? A fine Donegal name.” Our branch of the McGinleys is actually from Derry, but it’s still nice to figure Luke and I probably have a great-great-great-great-great-grandmother in common or at the very least, were always meant to be drinking buddies.
5 Extremists It’s Impossible to Take Seriously — All of them, right? But this is a special brand of “Can’t even tell if you believe your own bullshit” entirely. There are human beings who believe leprechauns exist and they vote.
I started to do this for Man Cave Daily, and then the schedule exploded and now it’s well and truly past its opportunity. Anyway ComicsAlliance did it more intelligently than I ever could, and others have done it more thoroughly. And poignantly (though with some errors, e.g. Nora O’Rourke). Anyway, here’s what I managed to get done. (more…)
Haha, no. It’s April Fool’s Day.
Sorry, have a comic:
I’ll catch up with everything I’ve gotten done at Man Cave soon (and boy are there loads of it), but this is too cool not to share: fifteen minutes in Heaven with Grant Morrison, talking about next week’s Ultra Comics, general description of The Multiversity, and what he’s got cooking with Wonder Woman.
Oh, and we compared Ultra Comics to The Monster at the End of This Book.
I couldn’t get him to confirm that Captain Atom saves President Harley though. I NEED that to be the case. Unfortunately, it would collapse the quantum state of that issue’s heartbreak. (Pax Americana might be the best single issue of a comic in the last twenty years.)
Did I ever show you this? I was hired in 2012 to draw a nice fellow this picture after describing the “Holy Trinity theory” to him that I talk about in the intro to that interview. In fact, I think I’ll go add it to the article.
Thank you to my Cracked secret santa for this incredibly cool mug of my alternate column banner. I am delighted by it. And it even uses the alternate banner to the column, which I drew after the one on Cracked.com, but editorial and I both felt simpler was better.
And now I have it on a mug! I can drink tea out of my Cracked mug and coffee out of my GB mug and let them fight it out in my belly! Productivity, here I come! Thank you, Secret Santa.
I still owe another dude a drawing of himself as a mosquito from like…a year ago, but i have to finish some comic work first.
Once you’ve had a Mago Barca, which, PS, I invented, you’ll never enjoy anything else. Except a banh mi. Or a grinder. Or the Mackenzie. Or…dang, man, there are just too many incredible sandwiches to be had. But I began the manly catalog of them with Damn Good Sandwiches for National Sandwich Day.
Since Maxim‘s gone bloodless and removed their voluminous content from their site, it falls to me to remind you that there are just 27 days until you can gnash your teeth into the greatest thing America’s invented: the gobbler! Here’s my article for them, which I rescued, because I am wonderful and handsome. (more…)
I praised whiskey over at Cracked today, because somebody wanted to offer me money to do that. I mean, I was doing it anyway, but now I’m doing it in public.
Here, enjoy some bonus content from when this article was all about scotch rather than whiskey in general:
Scotch = self-awareness
And that’s why Scotch is the best thing to come out of Scotland since plaid and until Craig Ferguson.
The greatest living American.
For what is a man? Behold the Ferguson, the very portrait of masculinity. For hath he not suffered, sunk, overcome, risen, and conquered (and that’s just his hair)?
Yea, though he no longer indulges the amber kiss of the highland drink, he doth be the model of a man, taking the honest measure of himself in drops of Scotch. Sometimes it’s none. Sometimes it’s this entire bottle I keep under my pillow in case I need Scotch to kill your mom’s morning breath. The point is, masculinity is impossible unless you know yourself, your needs, your limits.
And if a guy whose name means “Son of the Angry” can drink and/or not drink his way to well-being, so can you.
Even his clan motto is “Stronger after difficulty”
Lesson learned: it’s not what you drink, but how you hoist it. Funny you had to drink Scotch to learn that.
Scotch! To warm the body, soul, and heart. You are once again alive. Though a stiff wind batters the door, you have a happy hearth and the louse-obsessed poetry of Robert Burns to keep you well.
Yea, the night is long and dark and the wind will rip the heat from your bones. But ye are tucked in your home with Scotch and strength, and you abide. For there is a secret to happiness that only the Scotch-drinking man knows, and it is — hang on, the results are in on what makes a man …
According to this, it’s “his ability to nurture eggs with prolactin after the female’s ovipositor deposits them into his brood pouch.” Hunh. Turns out the definition of manliness is “seahorse.” Tough luck, everybody.
Except you seahorses. Good job.
So join me in raising a glass to seahorses, the centaurs of the ocean. There is much we can learn from them about what makes a man, and we’ll do it with a drink in hand. We may grow up, and we may even let death happen to us one day, but we’ll never get old, for we are preserved in Scotch.
Brendan’s pretty happy he can now write off his bar tab as a research expense. Toast him on Twitter: @BrendanMcGinley.
Want to keep the classy booze flowing? Raise your glass to Martini-a-Go-Go!