November was NaNoWriMo–no, that’s not a scrapped Blackberry concept phone, but National Novel Writing Month. But did you know that December is NaHoStrugPubYoNoMo (National Hopelessly Struggling to Publish Your Novel Month)? It’s true, and over at Cracked I’ve charted the worst ways to achieve that end with an infographic that does not hold up to scrutiny at […]
I said some things about America and how we should all just lighten up. Then I ignored my own advice by making it preachy instead of funny, but it involves shaved bears, so I think everybody got what they came for. Apocrypha (and plenty of it — redacted because none of it’s worth reading […]
Hey, a new Cracked book is out this week, and I’m part of it again! Because I am the luckiest boy in the world, apparently. You should order it. I’m going to. Like, even though I get a free one, I’m ordering it, because it’s the first time Amazon ever recommended an item to me […]
I listened to four versions of “Pursuit of Happiness” a sum 219 times to bring you this latest Cracked Column, every one of them drunk and then edited sober, and you are welcome for this unrequested sojourn into my dark country. Here’s your customary apocrypha: The world has been given over to the young. You […]
New this weekend over at Cracked is my account of the history of football and dog-strangling, A Shadow History of American Football. You may recognize it as the most insane explanation of football to ever make the sport more confusing to you. I hope somebody besides me enjoys the oddball lists, because I’m not about […]
Despite the best effort of some creepy webhack robot, the site is now back and all your links should work. Now to rebuild this thing into something more 2013-friendly. Bear with us, please and thank you. Sorry for the wonkiness…redesigning it takes time away from writing.
Had a new piece awhile back on Cracked, but my website got hacked, so I couldn’t post it here before. Apocrypha — there’s always some. A lot in this one, actually, but hey, them’s the sponsored articles. This was originally the lead: No doubt a few of you gamers were confused when Injustice offered […]
They made me watch 24 hours of Pacific Blue. Which was actually pretty great, since I was cat-sitting anyway and had to draw some assignments. Double your income, double your sloth.
Brian Cullen and I spent half of last year putting together this installment in the Top 10 series begun by Russell Ash. It’s full of nifty information gents can use to impress other gents, like “Most Diverse Nations (by Monkey Species)” and “Unbreakable Wilt Chamberlain Records.” Along the way, we added a personal touch with […]
This was an article I did for Asylum back in 2010. I don’t think it ever ran. These folks had developed software that would paste your photo on celebrities’ skulls, without any regard for how giant your face was. And then they sent a stunning redhead to demonstrate it to me because someone told them […]