Looking at this a year later, it’s amazing how much of this recipe is just wrong.
Here’s my guacamole recipe. These units are all variable, but assume you’re using 3 avocados.
2 garlic cloves, crushed into oblivion NEVER AGAIN! It’s so much better without them.
–1 onion for every 2 avocados is my rule of thumb. Dice it up fine.
–Half a tomato, diced. Actually, a good thing to do here is make salsa at the same time and scoop out as much of the seeds and soupy bits as possible so the salsa’s thicker. But you’ll have too much for the guac, so you can actually use that remaining tomato juice to marinate some meat for the grill. It’ll keep it moist with a light tomato flavor.
–Half a pepper, diced. Hot for flavor or sweet if you just want color.
–Squeeze in 1 lime.
SPICES / SEASONINGS (assuming you have three avocados)
–salt and pepper…sprinkle till it looks good.
–1 tbsp olive oil. Hell yes. More if nobody’s looking
1 tsp soy sauce. Soy sauce? Yes, dammit! That’s the secret.
–2 splashes of balsamic vinagrette. Just a very little amount for a note of tang.
–Three zots of hot sauce (1 zot =5 drops)
–Add several sprigs of fresh cilantro, chopped — this is essential!
And parsley…ideally fresh but dried is acceptable.
If it still doesn’t add enough oomph to that cool, smooth avocado flavor, add a little onion powder and/or garlic powder.
But honestly, with guac, less is more. Just let it be what it is: delicious, slightly eggy fruit paste.