Fare thee well, Friday Night Lights.


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So Friday Night Lights has just declared its end date, which stinks, because that show rated exceptionally high on the Al Swearengen Cuss-O-Meter for Dramatic Excellence. That graph isn’t to scale, either, because it’s only 600px wide, so I had to basically make it polar.

But then, they get time to finish up strong, and nothing good lasts forever, while nothing that lasts forever is good. Only vampires and cancer cells are immortal.

Goodnight, sweet show. And a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest.

Minka Kelly could get me to cheer for Bob Jones University

Here are pitch notes I was prepping for a Cracked article on the show, before the Topic went to somebody else.

Friday Night Lights
Basically, football is religion in Texas, and Eric Taylor, like Jesus, changes it for the better, only to be killed for his efforts. I’d kind of converge the megachurch storyline with the state championship storyline.

SUMMARY
Friday Night Lights is an award-winning NBC series documenting the true events that led to the crucifixion of Dillon, TX football coach Eric Taylor.

JUST THE FACTS
–Football is a religion in Texas
–Texas is a religion in Texas
–Pretty much everything is a religion in Texas

Image: A stained-glass picture of Coach Taylor and QB Matt Saracen
Cap: “You are Saracen and on you I build my team.”

Image: A play diagram in the shape of a cross.
Cap: As foretold in the playbook.

Image: A shot of Tim Riggens in the megachurch.
Cap:

BACKGROUND
Taylor as foretold by Tom Landry. The unusual circumstances of Taylor’s birth. The time his parents lost him at Texas A&M, only to find him giving advice to the coaching staff.
This section serves to lay out the actual premise of the show: Dillon football,

THE TEAM
This starts out like Jesus gathering the Apostles, and turns into a brief overview of the cast.
He then went forth and found Jason, son of Mitchell Street, playing Pee Wee League, and saying unto him thus: “Leave thy team and follow me.”
(I’m not going to sustain this biblical tone throughout, just for a line or two at the start of the sections.)

MIRACLES & TEACHINGS
An overview of what makes the show great, filtered through Taylor’s miraculous victories, tied into how much faith his team has in themselves. Also, every time Coach Taylor teaches someone what it is to be a man, that’s a stamp on his Jesus card.

THE TEMPTATION
In season two, Taylor took a coaching job at the university for about forty days and forty nights. Then he came back and banished his inferior replacement.

Anyway, it’d build like that, showing how great he is for the community, how deftly he avoids the pitfalls of the town trying to test and judge him, much like El Senor Jesuscristo vs. the Pharisees and Sadducees, making everyone around him better…right up till the first time he loses a state championship. At that point he’s crucified and a small team of true believers goes on to win in his name, but Dillon football falls into ruin.