Rejuvenique


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This clip for a facial rejuvenator that works by electro shocking your face has been circling for awhile. Its serial killer mask sends the wearer tumbling into the Uncanny Valley. But I didn’t realize Found Footage Festival was kicking it around. I went to one of their shows once, held on a roof in the Brooklyn Navy Yard. It was a lot of fun.

I particularly like the 0:43 second mark: “We recommend you take several close-up pictures of yourself before you use the system. Staple them haphazardly to the wall. Using a fresh fecal´╗┐ deposit as a crayon, smear the words ‘IT IS BECOMING MEAT’ on every bare inch of the house, so that goblins cannot come´╗┐ through the portal and besiege you.

“Now it is time for the bathing of the Sin-Puppet. Play a relaxing hot jazz album backwards and slip into the tub. Take this opportunity to reach into your soul, where the numberless dead dance their unholy rite that ends the universe. Don’t you feel younger already?”