Anthem fails got front-paged at AOL


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Though it’s up there minus these awesome redacted punchlines:

–The charges are hilarity, Officer Fun, and you have no right to remain silent!

–Nevada replaced with the national anthem years ago with Mike Tyson messily devouring a cat.

–Maybe we’re being too hard on Bolton, but then again, he sings soft rock. That’s almost as bad as smooth jazz. If you listen to this performance backwards, Satan tells you to scoop tea out of Boston Harbor.

–Twenty years later, this is still the second thing people think of when you say “Roseanne Barr,” before her long-running TV show, and after an impossibly nasal whine that you can still hear on nights when the moon is full.

–The only thing less American would be Josef Stalin having carnal relations with an apple pie.