Dickering over size in the animal kingdom


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Asylum asked me to do this chart, and though I like the aesthetic, I don’t ever want to spend two days researching and composing this kind of ghastly material ever again. Combined with the Taser research the day before, I’m sure Google has my IP address flagged under possible animal offenders.

Anyway, here’s the original article (their idea) entitled “Penis Size in the Animal Kingdom — What Species Has the Biggest Equipment?”

Recently, scientists in the Falkland Islands aroused and measured the penis size of a dead squid. And while we’re not ones to judge what turns some people on, we are ones to plug our ears and chatter "la la la la" when those scientists report that deep-sea squid are monstrously hung.

It did get us wondering if there were any other animals that, uh, cut humans down to size. So, we ranked the penis-to-body ratios of Earth’s best-hung critters to determine where we fit into nature’s penis picture.

Check below to see the results of our investigation.

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