A primer in making a Damn Good Sandwich

Today at Maxim I begin what I shall treasure as my favorite franchise post, yes even moreso than all the ones where they pay me to lust after women.

The components of a Damn Good Sandwich

Re-reading it, it’s kind of manic. And my list of fruits and vegetables is just fruits, which makes my calling Ryan Seacrest a human vegetable sound more like a fruit slur.

Oh well, they hired me for my good looks, not my writing ability.