Because He’s Batman

The Gentleman Bastard NEVER wins

After the last couple of heavy, verbose satirical bits, I thought it would be fun to just chew on something we can all agree on: people will break your heart.

Kidding! Batman always wins. That’s a given. But if you want to know the string theory underlying the particles of victory that make Batman the Harlem Globetrotters of superheroes, I’ve broken it down for you on Cracked.

Arkham City was a lot of un

I bet Batman dies in a really disappointing fashion, like getting stabbed by Sting Ray while hunting Killer Croc

*I was lying about kidding.