I prefer to fill my freelance hours with Cracked columns but for the last six weeks it's been apartment-hunting, moving, repairs, bricked phones, unsynced story notes, etc. (my own fault for jailbreaking and then updating, or Apple's for fighting user modifications? Science says "Yes.") I learned all I'd need to know about dealing with Apple the first week I had the phone, when I had to fight my way up customer service for several days just to use my own email address they had handed away to someone else without so much as a verification email.
Anyway, I didn't get near my column for a month so I explained my absence (which is boring) in terms of Doc Savage (who is not). Doc can't cross the street without encountering a robot dragon, so here is my weird apology for the absence.
Also, my love letter to grilling, The Man's Book of the BBQ, comes out next week!
