The Gentleman Bastard by Brendan McGinley

Over at Cracked. Let me save you some time: TL;DNR

Those of you brave enough to soldier forward, enjoy some bonus material:

Broadway musicals, by the way, are where America's most talented friends we haven't seen since high school went to pour all of themselves into America's least worthwhile remakes. It's like opera minus the vocal-power dry-humped a pile of 1997 TV Guides. And that'll bring us to our next point.

Oliver you scamp

Hate for hate is my new love.