You’re Not Crazy: Hereditary Was a Bad Movie

My face during the last 100 minutes of Hereditary.

Last night, for the first time in my decades upon this earth, I asked a movie theater for my money back. They declined, and I can have no peace, because the most heartfelt statement of my 2018 will be this: God, I hate Donald Trump. But a close second? Hereditary is a bad movie. Not only bad, but the worst film experience I have ever endured, and I made it through the entire Uma Thurman/Ralph Fiennes AvengersHereditary is a film so laborious, so tedious, so consummately PONDEROUS, I was writhing in my seat with frustration for at least eight hours of this 127-minute movie.

Spoilers below, probably, I can’t tell yet because I’m still furious with this film, so I’m not sure of everything I’ll say.


Sketchy Saturday: Accidental Stranger Things Fan Theory — Maybe Eleven is a Jedi

In this week’s sketchy Saturday, Han and Chewbacca ponder the Stranger Things fan theory we’ve all been wondering: whether Eleven is a Force user. (has anyone been wondering that? I wasn’t until I accidentally juxtaposed these two sketches. Let’s run with this notion that she’s strong in the Force.) Also a melange of random bar dudes dwell beneath a sot created in my imagination. I think I drew a fat drunk and then realized he looked a little like Hitler, so I gave him that stupid mustache? This was a drawing from last year, and again, I was drinking, so I can’t be sure of anything other than to Hell with all Nazis.

Still, maybe the Upside Down is just that realm where dark visions of the Force live, as in The Last Jedi and Empire Strikes Back. Maybe all those critters are just Star Wars aliens. Maybe I’m pulling all of this out of my ear. Heck, go ahead and say maybe she’s a Time Lord AND a Jedi. Let’s just stitch up all these fan theories into one unified theory of Wold Newton.

Bar sketches

Maybe Darth Vader gets a nosebleed every time he uses the Force, we don’t know.

Sketchy Saturday: Hemingway and Poe Walk Into a Bar…

…and stagger out together, drawn from memory in my pile of cocktail napkins. A couple famous author caricatures here for you courtesy of Messrs. Ernest Hemingway and Edgar Allan Poe. Also, Lit from Indelible, Inc. shows up, just because I love that guy as a character. He was supposed to be some minor villain, but who he is and what he is really tied together a lot of the first series.

…then Marvel made that photonegative crime boss who’s a Spidey villain, and I lost all my cool points.

Bar sketches of famous author caricatures

That’s Lit from Indelible, Inc. above them.

Sketchy Saturday 4: Prim and petulant goblins

Don’t ask me why I did a goblin drawing. I just felt like creating some kind of disapproving bureaucrat type. The floppy ears kinda delight me, though, as if even his cartilage is dour. He feels like some kind of Discworld type to me, even thought Pratchett’s goblins weren’t characterized as exactly sulky Grima Wormtongue types. I dunno, maybe he’s from World of Warcraft a few generations down the line.

I’m just going to say it: you’re a prig, Gobby.

Bar sketches

That goblin drawing should be swirling port and plotting imperialism