Bankshot Comics

My journal from the spring/summer of 2001. I should clarify that Conan wasn't yelling at me for real, that was part of the kidding around mentioned therein. I didn't get in trouble until later that day and nobody yelled at me.

So, some of this I stand by, some I've learned better than, but it is what it was.

Click here for part 1

Late Night with Conan O'Brien & DC Comics

I started at Late Night first doing three days a week there and two days a week at DC, with the understanding that I would then come in to DC full time the rest of the year. I had absolutely no problem with that since it was where I wanted to be anyway, but considering some of the employees at Late Night couldn't be bothered to say hi (note: interestingly, higher-ups like producers, Conan, Max and the band didn't have this problem), compared to DC, where a group editor like Bob Schreck tells you to stay put while he fetches Frank Miller for an introduction, I think you'll see why I was happy when the time came to tender my resignation at NBC.

6/4/01

Orientation at NBC: answer phones, do what you're told, keep the place clean, well-stocked, well-organized and otherwise professional, including yourself. Read: don't pitch to the writers or try to meet hot celebrities. Yeah, and there was the danger of that from me--for the record, I have a deep-seated dislike of the deification of celebrities, though I fully recognize the amazing abilities of most talent. Thirty interns sitting around on a non-taping day, answering phones. I did some errands.

6/6/01
Lots of walking around Manhattan. I have discovered that interns don't get dinner unless they're helping to serve it, which it is of course, difficult to get a handle on. I'm hungry and I can't wait for DC.

6/7/01
It feels like I've been here a long time already. I spent much of today walking around the city in search of a pair of jeans in a specification that may not exist. Apparently someone had to bribe the cue card guy with them to keep him from spilling ink all over the cards. Loopy, but then I remember that show biz is a loopy business. Then I realize I'm in show biz, however minorly.

I think I am aggravating my hurt foot rather badly, which puts a certain reality to all of this. Returning carpets 30 blocks away lends a nice perspective to the "glamour" that has some of the other interns interested. When celebrities whose work I respect and admire pop up, yeah, then I'm interested, but it has to be somebody I really had a previous interest in, not just a case of, "Angelina Jolie? Oh yeah, she is a good actress." Even then, I don't think I'd care to meet them like some of the other kids. If Rancid were on, I'd really, really have to meet them, but I don't know who else would be on that I'd be peppered to meet.

I don't like the entertainment industry.

I don't trust the entertainment industry.

I'm working for the entertainment industry.

And suddenly, I can write again.

6/8/01

Ten minutes ago, Conan O'Brien was yelling at me, and now I'm running down 49th street. The funny thing is, this is a pretty typical day in my life.

I round the corner and stay in the sun (it's freezing in the studio, where I've just spent two hours). Atlas, one of the few Greco-Roman statues/murals/bas-reliefs (relieves?) in the Manhattan skyscraper area without breasts, frowns down at me approvingly. Good boy, Atlas. 'Attaboy.

I can say from experience that it's easier to get on the set of Late Night with Conan O'Brien than to find somebody willing to give you change for a buck in the city. This part of it, I mean. Even tougher to find a working payphone; in Manhattan a working payphone is one that doesn't swallow your quarter when it fails to make your call.

Today's guests: Orlando Jones, Alan Cummings and, in passing, Caroline Rhea. Now there's an example of what I was talking about yesterday. I don't even know who Cummings is, I know but don't really care who Rhea is, and I thought Jones was cool all the way back to when he was just "The 7-Up Guy," but I still don't feel the need to say "I admire your work" or all that junk.

I'm sorry, it's just that companies spend so much money telling us we should be in awe of these people that we start to believe it. I'd be in awe of Sir Lawrence Olivier (or any zombie, if it came to that), but don't expect me to fawn over Tom Green because somebody pointed a camera at him.

Interesting: mail still comes in for Andy Richter, including an issue of The Comics Journal. Oh, the conversations that could have been held. Heh. I just realized I'll be working with people from DC. Now there's a case where I'm more likely to get hepped up, though even then, not fanboy-ish. I'll just be more thrilled. Don't get me wrong, Conan is cool and I say that to myself a lot, but at DC every ten minutes 'twill be "Heh heh heh. I'm working in the editorial offices of a comic company."
I just realized I could be working in GL. That'd be rad; think of the Guy Gardner stuff they might have. Still, I most want to be in Vertigo.

Conan yelled at me as part of his incessant joking, which was cool. What stunk was Conan, a writer and the producer getting stuck on how to phrase a joke, and me suggesting a way of phrasing it. The reason it stunk was because I got in trouble for being unprofessional, pitching work to them, when I hadn't thought I was pitching anything. It was their joke, and they sat there stumped about how to make it work, and I thought I was there to learn and help, and ten minutes earlier I had been getting teased about not speaking much during the rehearsal, which was essentially everyone figuring out how to make the show work.

So okay, I got in trouble; I didn't think I was pitching at the time, but in retrospect I see it and won't do it again. Well, it was almost a clean first week.

6/11/01
Started at DC today. What can I say? Cool people, boring work, cool workplace, as expected. Cool work awaits, actually, but my working at Conan O'Brien keeps me from getting linked to an editor until I go full-time. Some kid already got the Vertigo imprint, but it will be mine yet. I have a friend and fellow wise-ass in Ivan Cohen, Coordinating Editor and Hirer of Me.

6/12/01

Today I handled Dave Gibbons original artwork (Dave Gibbons is to comics as Larry Bird is to basketball), devised clever copy for a Joker special (woohoo! Two days and I'm already printed!) and practice-corrected a Legion script for Mike McAvennie. Also I listened to stories about creators from the Bat editors. I start work at 10, finish at 6, spend 2 hours reading comics plus lunch (that'd be on days when the art's not in for the week yet), and avoid rush hour. And people keep telling me to take it easy because they're laid-back. I love my job and will someday work here as talent or an editor. And I get free copies of everything they print! Vertigo, DC, Wildstorm, ABC, Cartoon Network, even Mad, I think.

6/13/01

Buncha crap. The reception office is so stuffed with unutilized intern power, I sometimes sweep the offices looking for someone in need of me. So I walked past Conan and a writer talking, and after I passed them I heard "Iron Man." So I pause and then they're clearly b.s.ing, not planning script or anything (got in trouble Friday for "pitching" material when I was standing in, so I was tentative of anything official) so I joined in for a coupla sentences, cause comic talk is my thing.

6/15/01
Skipped Late Night yesterday because I was sick, caught something from DC. Gone today though. Can you believe I got in trouble for talking about Iron Man? Now I remember "Don't pitch to the writers," and "Act professional" (read: "don't try to get anybody's autograph, including Conan and Max, etc.) but I never heard "Do not talk to Conan unless he talks to you first, especially about a subject you love." Jeez, what a wanker system. And this is after multiple times, including earlier in the day, when Conan, in passing, had said "Hey, what's up?" to me without my saying anything or (one time) even realizing he was there.

I know it's politeness and not an invitation to be best friends, but if I had taken it as such I think I would have tried harder than saying fewer than a dozen words and leaving of my own volition when neither of them was chilly with me. My point is it's not like I'm harassing either of them, and while I understand why the rule is there, I think I kept the spirit of it, and I'm being busted for breaking the letter (again, unconsciously and unintentionally).

Okay, I dig that they don't want to permit it because interns (and there are many) would constantly be trying to talk to Conan, but I think when it's two sentences not disrupting but contributing to a schmooze conversation about a subject I am legitimately interested in, and which anybody in the world could discuss and draw my attention, I'm clearly not just trying to talk to Conan. I don't even care about Conan, at least no more than I care about meeting anybody there who's witty, smart, funny, which includes not only Conan but the writers, half the stage crew, the other interns--of whom, by the way, many are interested in celebrities, so it figures that I'm the one that acts out of turn, like I'm a fame-hound.

I guess I'm just bothered because it's like HUAC in there. Somebody goes and says something to a higher up, who speaks to my boss's boss, who speaks to my boss, who talks to me. I don't get to plead my case to anybody so they don't think I'm a bad intern. My boss, Roey, is a good guy, but as far as disciplining me, he just gets ordered to explain my transgressions to me and when I explain my thinking, he says he understands, but just don't do it anymore. Okay, I keep trying not to, but--aargh, there's futility in there somewhere; that's what bothers me. Many crew and staff memebers at Late Night are cool, but even more treat interns like we carry a plague. I think it's about looking too important to socialize with us (and again, why Max and Conan don't feel the need to ignore us).

6/16/01

Awesome! Frank Miller was in the offices today. Note how that even though he is a professional with a healthy body of work that I respect, and whom I could have approached to say so, I didn't, and to be honest--Conan O'Brien may have a bigger audience, but to my mind Miller's someone I'd want to talk to more, because Conan's talent is to be witty and Miller's involves more craft. So for me Miller's the bigger "star", and more accessible, apparently, as I could have earnestly talked to him without being seen as unprofessional (that'sjust not how DC is)--neither of the two companies' attitudes has anything to do with my behavior (unless I actually do fawn over either one of them, but I'm not a big enough fan of either to do that. Now Alan Moore...different story. But I like to think even then I'd be aware of my geekiness and remain laid back), but the behavior of the general public. DC is preferable by default.
I'm kind of struck by the parallelism. Here I am getting in trouble for bothering the talent when I hadn't even cared that it was the talent I was bugging, and now today there's talent I would want to talk to simply because he is who he is--and I don't even bother. Yeesh. Work ethics and work politics are weird, not to mention linked.

6/19/01

Today at DC I did a lot of photocopying and missed my girlfriend. I have to say, I love it here. I'm really learning about how to edit comics in between the gopher stuff, which I also love. The thing about Late Night with Conan O'Brien is I don't know any more about production than when I started, except a cameraman taught me how to use the camera. So really it comes to gopher work and education versus gopher work, and even DC's minor errands have Late Night knocked: when it comes down to fetching Conan coffee or photocopying original Dave Gibbons art, for me, all the glory is in the latter.

6/20/01

Back in the belly of the beast. Hopefully I won't be getting in trouble this week. I think I saw a girl from my Fordham internship seminar in the elevator--she was talking about working in the Today Show, and I know somebody from the seminar does that. I like the internship, really, the people are all cool, and I get a lot of writing done as there are too many interns and not enough work (but not so little that I'm useless, I can usually get myself sent on a few extended runs to other parts of the city and consume most of the day), but I really find myself counting the clock's run when I'm there. The only advantage it has over DC is free beverages.

6/21/01

I did a lot of subway runs today, so I've been standing practically the whole day. New Yorkers seem to be pushing me and cutting me off on the subway much more now that I have a visibly hurt foot than they ever did when I was wearing identical shoes. I don't count that against Late Night, but it does make me pine for DC--I really love it there. I think the workload's about the same (light) at either one, but I feel much more utilized at DC, and seriously, even when I'm stuffing a couple of hundred envelopes, I'm happy just to be there. I'd say part of it's personal bias, but I was certainly looking forward to Late Night, too. Not that I don't want to be there; it's just that I can only be at one or the other, and I prefer DC. I'll say this for Late Night: it's very relaxing to go out on a run, because I get to see a lot of Manhattan, and I can take my time to enjoy it on the return trip.

6/22/01

Sick again. In the bathroom for three hours when I woke up this morning. But still--two sick days in two weeks? Who would believe the truth? I actually want to be in at Conan today, because it's a Friday and Andy Richter is the guest. Oh well.

6/25/01

I was sick over the whole weekend, so it's good that I skipped Friday. I wasn't in the shape for it. My foot's gotten a lot better. I spent much of today transcribing a fax for a Batman comic done by some Japanese studio onto the word processor with my superior typing skills (yep, I knew it was good to put 120 words/minute on the resume) and actually got a lot done. That was a hoot, because even though it was very well translated and grammatically correct, a lot of the idiom in the dialogue was great. There was a moment when Two Face is gloating about being able to judge people, and how God gave him this great gift of people to judge (these are all motivations the Japanese writers ascribed to the character) and he says "And that is a greater gift than even food and underwear!"
Plus I got free comics today, so you see how I live in the best of all possible internships.

(epilogue: my foot turned out to have an ingrown toenail on the big toe, and after numerous, painful attempts at bathroom surgery, I went to the hospital and then the podiatrist to have it sprayed with coolant, shot with novocaine 8 times, excised and cauterized. That has no bearing here, I just thought it was gross enough to be cool).