Tag Archives : freelance


Full version of last year’s Cracked State of the Union

Last year I wrote a State of the Union with some suggestions for real change in America. But did you know there was a fifth entry? It was very vindictive.  Mr. O’Brien, Mr. O’Brien, Emperor Wong, members of Cracked, distinguished readers, spambots, trolls, and easily offended moms here by accident from Facebook– Thank you for […]

The bottom really fell out of the market for gym-based espionage 25 years ago.

Hobo jokes will always be funny.

Pumblechook & Figg Holiday Catalog 2013

Over 183.9 years ago, two merchants shared a dream for Christ-Mass: a gingerbread house so large that all men, whether Christian, Mohammedian, or Juwe, might worship the Christ within it. This mighty structure would unite the hearts of good Englishmen everywhere in the unity of goodwill, that they might stand as one and smash the […]


The Worst Possible Advice for Selling Your Manly Novel

November was NaNoWriMo–no, that’s not a scrapped Blackberry concept phone, but National Novel Writing Month. But did you know that December is NaHoStrugPubYoNoMo (National Hopelessly Struggling to Publish Your Novel Month)? It’s true, and over at Cracked I’ve charted the worst ways to achieve that end with an infographic that does not hold up to scrutiny at […]

221835_v2

Derping de derp when derp is derping

New Cracked column: What to Expect When Your Ex Is Expecting

I listened to four versions of “Pursuit of Happiness” a sum 219 times to bring you this latest Cracked Column, every one of them drunk and then edited sober, and you are welcome for this unrequested sojourn into my dark country. Here’s your customary apocrypha: The world has been given over to the young. You […]


Cracked: The Weirdest Alternate Versions of Superheroes

  Had a new piece awhile back on Cracked, but my website got hacked, so I couldn’t post it here before. Apocrypha — there’s always some. A lot in this one, actually, but hey, them’s the sponsored articles.  This was originally the lead: No doubt a few of you gamers were confused when Injustice offered […]