Josh Elder


The Gutters: Top Cow contest 2

I illustrated another script at The Gutters, which, if you like it, you should make a point of mentioning in their comments section so they continue to give me work. This one mocks Top Cow’s talent search contest in the manner of an old Goofy instructional video. Here’s your guide to the Easter eggs that might be too small to see in the final version:

The Gutters #80 — Goofy in Top Cow Pilot Season

 

 

Panel 1 — The background in panel one is a shrink of the American Idol stage. At this size I think it just looks like a weird setpiece.
The script called for adoring women drawn in a Disney style, which is the MK-Ultra trigger-phrase that activates my Bourne memories of Alison Brie as Red Riding Hood in Community‘s Halloween episode. Pursuing a theme, I also transformed Ms.Gillian Jacobs, though for both I ignored Disney’s technique of shrinking the lower half of a woman’s head. (Disney princesses practically have children’s jaws.) Honestly, I think I could have done a little better with Brie, but Jacobs I’m pretty happy with.

Alison Brie & Gillian Jacobs as cartoons

Annie & Britta are the MaryAnne & Ginger of our generation

Any Top Cow book, even one written by a Disney character, has an 88% chance of starring a half-naked woman with more breast than character. Here’s a jab so lazy it does not contain enough spoof parts per billion to qualify as satire:

Goofy as Witchblade

It’s as unsexy as it sounds

Panel 2 requred fat nerds, so of course I was going to draw Comic Book Guy and John Byrne. But my colleague friends and I are rampaging engines of sexy nerdstruction, so I had to embiggen us for our cameo.

Jeremiah Hoover, John Byrne, Eric Palicki, David Marquez, Brendan McGinley, Josh Elder, Comic Book Guy

Panel 3 — I tried to stick this guy in an Orange Lantern shirt, but I let hate distract me and did it wrong.

Orange Lantern...almost

In the nerd hierarchy, Orange Lanterns are the lowest Lantern you can be.

Panel 8 called for sheer horror in Goofy’s expression, and nothing says that like skull eyes.

The horror...

Goofy wears pants, so presumably castration terrifies him

By the way, I deliberately forewent a lot of shading since it had to start off Disney style and only in ensuing panels get gritty, so the colorist did a really lovely job rounding out the shapes I could only suggest by contour. I also like the magic marker look that desaturates those bright Disney flats but leaves the hue. Really feels worn, tired and desperate — perfect for this strip.

…and my life.


Don’t forget:

DOSE #3 release party tonight. Dove Parlour. 7 p.m.

This issue is an extremely short-run print, and features contributions from Molly Crabapple, John Leavitt, Josh Elder, Brian Warmoth, Nathan Alderman, Chris G, and art from J Sjostrom, Arif Rakhman, and Mauro Vargas (of Hannibal fame). Why not order one?

Standard Comic
Black & White
Page Count: 48
Written and Illustrated by Brendan McGinley, Molly Crabapple, John Leavitt, Josh Elder, Brian Warmoth, Christopher S. Wilson, Mauro Vargas, J Sjostrom
In the third issue, Li’l Sammy Swift goes to prison for murder, a sperm whale finds daily life discomforting, and John Wilkes Booth makes a great action hero if you’re willing to overlook history. We invert the boring Fantastic Four movies with “Doom/Tuck,” and reveal Shakespeare’s role in the murder of Christopher Marlowe. Also, red-hot indie stars Molly Crabapple and John Leavitt stop by with a four-pager.
Comics’ greatest b&w humor anthology! (Well, greatest CURRENT…actually, the only one that we know of. If there’s another, it’s probably better than this.)

Brendan McGinley's Dose #3 release party

Also, check out this terrific birthday card my chum Reagan made for me.


Why you should never ask me about comics 1

Because I only half-follow them, and then I spit back what I’ve seen. This is the last time Elder made that mistake, back when it was revealed that Green Goblin had hate-screwed Spider-Man’s girlfriend. I can’t believe i just typed that. Oh, comics, you were such a cute kid. Now you’re in that late teens dawning maturity where you mistake ugliness for depth.

Why does this creepiness exist?

Josh: New comic: http://www.erichowen.com/spidey_pg01.jpg
Josh: Goes up to 11
Brendan: Hey, this is your story!
Brendan: nice pun on costume-r
Brendan: this is awesome!
Brendan: that dryer opens weird
Brendan: better if he missed to the left of him.
Josh: Yeah, I know.
Brendan: this is so pro though yo
Josh: Not much I can do ’cause he just drew it all and then showed it to me.
Brendan: yah
Josh: But I’m pretty darned pleased with it.
Brendan: just flip the window
Brendan: two panels. bamf
Josh: I think I got Spidey’s voice pretty pitch perfect.
Brendan: by the way
Brendan: well that was my next point
Josh: Better than JMS at any rate.
Josh: Man, why can’t they just let Spidey be fun?
Brendan: hah
Brendan: I dunno.
Brendan: Gwen needs ramrodding
Brendan: Solid, hard, green ramrodding
Josh: He needs to make jokes and slap bad guys around…
Josh: Shut up
Josh: Damn you!
Brendan: I bet Green Goblin put the mask on right before he climaxed
Josh: And damn you JMS!
Josh: Damn you straight to comic geek hell!
Brendan: She was like “Did you put a rubber on?”
Brendan: and he said “Right here, baby. BLALEBLBLABLBLAEH!!”
Josh: So wrong…
Josh: But I’m glad you liked my story at any rate.
Brendan: I can picture them having sex, sadly. She goes from these high-pitched gasps to kind of a shrill “Oh!” which I point out to give you an idea of how good she feels when he leans in and she says “Norman…” and he says “Gwen..”
Josh: We’ll be giving it to every Marvel guy we meet.
Brendan: repeat x 3
Brendan: until suddenly: “Gwen…I was lying when I said I loved you, and I’m not wearing a condom.”
Brendan: Next panel: Norman grimaces in painful orgasm, gritting his teeth.
Brendan: Ah….
Brendan: then he falls asleep on her lily-white breast while she cries.
Brendan: You know I’m right.
Josh: I hate you.

Why I should write Spider-Man instead of J. Michael Straczynski.

elder1938: New comic: http://www.erichowen.com/spidey_pg01.jpg
elder1938: Goes up to 11
BANKSH0T: Hey, this is your story!
BANKSH0T: nice pun on costume-r
BANKSH0T: this is awesome!
BANKSH0T: that dryer opens weird
BANKSH0T: better if he missed to the left of him.
elder1938: Yeah, I know.
BANKSH0T: this is so pro though yo
elder1938: Not much I can do ’cause he just drew it all and then showed it to me.
BANKSH0T: yah
elder1938: But I’m pretty darned pleased with it.
BANKSH0T: just flip the window
BANKSH0T: two panels. bamf
elder1938: I think I got Spidey’s voice pretty pitch perfect.
BANKSH0T: by the way
BANKSH0T: well that was my next point
elder1938: Better than JMS at any rate.
elder1938: Man, why can’t they just let Spidey be fun?
BANKSH0T: hah
BANKSH0T: I dunno.
BANKSH0T: Gwen needs ramrodding
BANKSH0T: Solid, hard, green ramrodding
elder1938: He needs to make jokes and slap bad guys around…
elder1938: Shut up
elder1938: Damn you!
BANKSH0T: I bet Green Goblin put the mask on right before he climaxed
elder1938: And damn you JMS!
elder1938: Damn you straight to comic geek hell!
BANKSH0T: She was like “Did you put a rubber on?”
BANKSH0T: and he said “Right here, baby. BLALEBLBLABLBLAEH!!”
elder1938: So wrong…
elder1938: But I’m glad you liked my story at any rate.
BANKSH0T: I can picture them having sex, sadly. She goes from these high-pitched gasps to kind of a shrill “Oh!” which I point out to give you an idea of how good she feels when he leans in and she says “Norman…” and he says “Gwen..”
elder1938: We’ll be giving it to every Marvel guy we meet.
BANKSH0T: repeat x 3
BANKSH0T: until suddenly: “Gwen…I was lying when I said I loved you, and I’m not wearing a condom.”
BANKSH0T: Next panel: Norman grimaces in painful orgasm, gritting his teeth.
BANKSH0T: Ah….
BANKSH0T: then he falls asleep on her lily-white breast while she cries.
BANKSH0T: You know I’m right.
elder1938: I hate you.