This was an article I did for Asylum back in 2010. I don’t think it ever ran. These folks had developed software that would paste your photo on celebrities’ skulls, without any regard for how giant your face was. And then they sent a stunning redhead to demonstrate it to me because someone told them […]
I do more Photoshop at 5 a.m. than most armies do all day. Like this Zooey Deschanel riff on a movie which I haven’t heard of but know everyone else hates. Nick Nadel gave it a nice synopsis to go along with it (the article was his idea. I was fully a hired gun on […]
Cool Whip: The very name conjures up images of tasty summer treats that even those lame lactose-intolerant (or as we like to call them, lactose bigoted) kids can eat. But really, do you know what you’re putting in your body? No? Well for crying out loud, man, that’s what Asylum’s here for. Read on to see our […]
My old boss Adam Raymond researched these lyrics and then shipped them my way for Photoshoppery.
Nick Nadel and I co-plotted this off his idea for the article, then I did the Photoshop while he wrote the text below. We had a lot of fun, and I’ll tell you a secret: I fought so hard for the Burger King Fellini film I think I came down to “I’m doing it no […]
Clutch and love have been good to me, but only Clutch stayed when I ran out of money. Here are two articles written by Brett Smiley and made visually ghastly by me. Six Swagfied Products to Add Some Style to Your Life How Will Your July 4th Party End?
New piece up at Asylum: If the Oscars Were Honest, starring gobs of Photoshopped movie posters. Sunday is Oscar night, and while that means nothing to anyone who doesn’t read gossip magazines, we still can’t escape their buzz. So we know that the categories and winners aren’t exactly straightforward. As the film industry dislocates its […]
Hey. It’s 5:30 a.m. and I’m going to bed after Photoshopping tattoos onto half a dozen celebrities. I kinda wedged Community into this one because that show is fantastic, and the youth of today don’t know what’s good for them. Because that’s what I do — inform, educate, entertain, and get out of town with […]
Let’s pretend I didn’t just Photoshop the Jersey Shore cast into the Renaissance’s greatest works of art to draw attention to their ill-advised trip to Italy. Let’s pretend I didn’t have to learn their stupid nicknames. Let’s pretend I’m not buying your silence with some bonus material: a free picture of J-Woww as the Venus […]
MTV asked me to make some mock movie posters showing why the fifth film in a series is always a bad idea. More pictures in the link, but my unsanitized text below the cut here.