Crush on Kristen Bell and the universe is destroyed.

I did another CRACKED Topic this week, this one on charming character actress Kristen Bell.

Kristen Bell is swell, but Richard Cory is gory.

I’m proud of this one. I tried to differentiate (or at least take off) from the tendency prevalent in some CRACKED Topics about female celebrities to simply slag their talents/personalities and lust after their bodies. You can’t make jokes out of “Boy, that person sure is well-rounded.” I mean, you can, but then you’re ripping off the punchline to “Richard Cory“. Which I’m not above doing, I just wasn’t clever enough to think of earlier than now.

So that was my challenge to write. How do you make normality funny? I had to turn the problem of what was funny about it around in my head for awhile, and I’m happy with the solution that came to me: exacerbate the crush to uncomfortable levels and then detonate it amid existential nihilism.