Yearly Archives: 2011


The Year in Bastardry 2011

New Cracked column to close out the year for you, though I think they’re calling it “The Nine Biggest Bastards of 2011,” which will surely rile everyone who thinks X doesn’t belong in the company of Y, and where is Z? I gave you a sampling of the world, dear reader, in all its messed-up glory. Some are righteous bastards who refuse to be cowed, while many are just bullies.

Man, I was shooting from the hip on this one. I fear it’s one of my stumbles into more satire and sarcasm than outright comedy, but what the hell, it’s an indictment of bastards, both good and evil (mostly evil). Next article, I’ll just do a nice, easy, breezy list piece about something family-friendly, like sex injuries.

Oh yes, it’s happening.

Feel free to look around the comic galleries in the top menu, which I brought up-to-date. I recommend Heist.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s 6 a.m. and I need sleep. Saying “bastard” that many times has kind of dulled the potency of one of my favorite words, so I’m going to recharge. I have a big day of eating like a pig tomorrow. Do pigs eat eggplant cheesecake? Because that’s my objective. Goodnight, and good year to you, internet denizen.


NY Post and I only agree on one thing

And it’s not the superiority of the Giants. That piece on sexy schoolgirl music videos that I wrote for Maxim’s Dirty Briefs landed on Page Six of the New York Post, because Lady Jenn is going places.

Speaking of going places, here’s a piece on fishing in New Zealand my dad wrote for the New York Times. And if you’re wondering what the connection is, it’s New York newspapers, Maxim, and dad’s love of fishing.


Profiles in Manlitude: Marvel Whiteside “Jack” Parsons

I love what I do, but it’s not rocket science. It’s more like magic. And that’s why I love Jack Parsons, who did both while taking a pro-civil liberties stance. If you want to read about one of the most interesting men who ever lived, then you should be reading the newest Profile in Manlitude up at Maxim. For example, did you know you can summon a redhead just by performing the rite of the Scarlet Woman? Jack Parsons did.

It’s a strange world.


Why I like Spider-Man

Because no matter how much it costs him, if people need his help, he’ll go all in, because that’s what Uncle Ben would do. That’s a beautiful idea of what a hero is. Spidey was a friend of mine in my high school years.