The Year in Bastardry 2011

New Cracked column to close out the year for you, though I think they’re calling it “The Nine Biggest Bastards of 2011,” which will surely rile everyone who thinks X doesn’t belong in the company of Y, and where is Z? I gave you a sampling of the world, dear reader, in all its messed-up glory. Some are righteous bastards who refuse to be cowed, while many are just bullies.

Man, I was shooting from the hip on this one. I fear it’s one of my stumbles into more satire and sarcasm than outright comedy, but what the hell, it’s an indictment of bastards, both good and evil (mostly evil). Next article, I’ll just do a nice, easy, breezy list piece about something family-friendly, like sex injuries.

Oh yes, it’s happening.

Feel free to look around the comic galleries in the top menu, which I brought up-to-date. I recommend Heist.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s 6 a.m. and I need sleep. Saying “bastard” that many times has kind of dulled the potency of one of my favorite words, so I’m going to recharge. I have a big day of eating like a pig tomorrow. Do pigs eat eggplant cheesecake? Because that’s my objective. Goodnight, and good year to you, internet denizen.