Five Girls Who Will Make You Instantly Fall in Love

MTV Clutch asked me to write up sighful paeans to the following GIFs, then folded up shop before it ever ran. If you own any of these, let me know if you want them taken down. I just provided the words, folks. Video is beyond my capabilities.

There’s an old song — too old to play on MTV, by God! We’ve champagne to pop and Holiday Inns to endorse for a licensed fee! But anyway — an old song that goes, “Hello, I love you, won’t you tell me your name?” And brother, ain’t it the truth. Some dames got so much charm it just takes a slow blink or a toss of hair to make us fall in love with them. These is them dames.

Julia Step smiling

Oh, hello, summer girlfriend! Julija Step doesn’t half-turn before she flashes you a smile that could melt stone. Then she bounces her shoulder, just in case the tossed hair/secret smile combo wasn’t heart-racing enough. You are trying to kill us, Julija Step! Kill us with love!

Who’s Sigrid Agren? Don’t know, and don’t need to. All that matters is amid a flurry of technical preparation where people are busy and bored, she looks out from under a half-pound of fake eyelashes and reveals a shy smile for a moment…and the world holds its breath.

Cintia Dicker is a redheaded Brazilian, which means you’re legally prohibited from not lusting after her. But hold! What deviltry be this? No wanton carnal desires here! She scrunches up into a little hedgehog pose, her fingers actually forming a heart under her chin, and for a second we forget that we’re looking at a nude Cintia Dicker. We’re just lucky guys who did something to make a girl do something adorable.

Alison Brie adjusts her shirt, laughing

Holy cow. This might not only feels like the first time we’ve ever seen Community‘s Alison Brie, but the first time we ever looked at a woman in our adult lives. This may be the first time man has ever made eye contact with the female of the species. This is the look Antony got from Cleopatra when he arrived in Egypt. This is what preying mantises see right before they die. If you encountered this in real life, your brain would leak out of your ears.

Rosa Kato breaks the fourth wall and your heart

She’s a charismatic woman is the gist of what we’re getting at here.
And then…there’s this girl. Rosa Kato. You might know her from a bunch of Japanese movies or possibly from the face you have seen every night in your dreams since you were 10 years old. “Oh, hello,” she seems to say, “Are you filming me? That makes me self-conscious, but it’s okay, because I like you!” Why are you such a better person than us, Rosa Kato?

So those are the girls you’re in love with now, or at least kindhearted lust. Now go out and enjoy reality. The universe will furnish one for you in due time.

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