Daily Archives: April 21, 2012

Cracked Column: I Taught the Internet Something New about Sex

Hooray! I wrote a thing and it was on the internet!

Fifty Shades of Grey is an erotic alternate universe fan fiction version of Twilight, and if that sentence makes no sense to you, you’re sweet to keep up with my work, Mom. For the rest of you: when Cracked and I team to remember Twilight exists, you know it’s going to end in a pile of corpses.  But are they sexy corpses? To find that out, you’ll just have to read on.

I'm not gonna lie; this is like the best Photoshop I've ever done.

Thank you to Cracked’s staff for doing a kickass job cleaning it up and editing for content and copy. I am officially out of ways to make the phrases “having sex” and “making love” sound awkward. If you’re a fan of Fifty Shades of Grey, this will cure you. It also features one of the best Photoshop facial transplants I’ve ever done, and I’m a doctor of that.