Two New Cracked Columns!

I wrote Five Reasons Cinco de Mayo is the Most American Holiday Ever last week, and then Five Folklore Monsters Hollywood Should Make into Films a couple days later. But–what, ho! A twist! The latter was completed first?! Zounds!

All the “Tip!” pictures on the Cinco de Mayo page were from my vacation in Mexico with El Jefe Ryan Brenizer, but Cracked got a’skeered he’d come after them for copyright, and swapped them out with stock photos. So you absolutely missed this awesome picture of me eating tacos. And this other picture of me eating tacos. And then me trying to do a massive vertical leap full of tacos. Anyway, your life is empty is my point.

They were both fun articles to write, and you should definitely practice kissing with them on the screen.