New this weekend over at Cracked is my account of the history of football and dog-strangling, A Shadow History of American Football. You may recognize it as the most insane explanation of football to ever make the sport more confusing to you.
I hope somebody besides me enjoys the oddball lists, because I’m not about to stop inserting them into articles. My original list was pretty close to what I ended up putting on the map:
- The Bronx Murderers
- The Albany Jabberwockies
- The Boston Clam-Splitters
- The Saskatchewan Apathy
- The Wind-Blown Gypsies (unattached to any city, this permanent visiting team changed its name to the Cardinals and has not been seen since 1951)
- The Omaha Klansmen
- The Seattle Gungywamps
- The Washington Displaced Indigenous Peoples
- The Gotham Lunatics
- The Kentucky 6 Drumstick & 4 Breast Value Buckets
- The Henderson Tallywacker Poonsplatters
- The United Dakotas Graverobbers
- The Austin Christ It’s Hot, Let’s Go Insides
- The Mountain Meadows Massacre
- The Los Angeles Quitters (only played 3 games, sparsely attended)
- The Appalachia Taily-Poes
- The Kansas City Yes, but Which Kansas City Do You Means?
- The Texan Texans of Texas, by God, Texas
- The Las Vegas Gamethrowers
- The Cleveland Unbelievably Racist Mascots
- The Parallel Earth Cleveland Racist against White People Mascots with Goatees
You know, spacing and such.