Yearly Archives: 2017

New Thrillist Post: Every Jaw-Dropping Moment on TV This Year

Over at the ol’ Thrillist I had time to compile the most stunning moments in 2017 television (warning! TV spoilers are like the entire point of that article) alongside my colleagues Christie and Andrea. It didn’t matter if it was a cliffhanger, a twist, a reveal, or whathaveye as long as it made us leap off our collective American couches and scream in outrage and/or satisfaction. Our rule of thumb was only: “If it’s a 2017 TV stunner, in it goes.”

Probably the biggest shocker? That The Walking Dead didn’t have any shockers. Its big one last season was in 2016, and then it’s been a whole lot of tug o’ wills between Rick and Negan. Not bad stuff, mind you, just a straightforward drama without any huge changes. Closest we came to a twist was the betrayal, but that was too quickly dealt with to change a damn thing.

I was also delighted to publicly declare my love for The Good Place and to argue that Jon Snow is innately unable to freeze to death. Pop culture: fun stuff.

New Thrillist Post: Everything That Happens In Your Grill at Every Temperature

Despite its (very British) title, that book I was hired to write a few years back now, The Man’s Book of the BBQ (buy it here!), is actually a celebration of grilling, not specifically smoking and slow-cooking and saucing. But that’s cool, because guys like Raichlen and Mixon are going to say all there is to say anyway. But if you want to know the science of the grilling temperature beyond that narrow bandwidth, you’ve got to go to one place: — the bible of the barbecue and beyond.

So it was that I got to interview Meathead Goldwyn, the exuberant expert who runs the site. I also combed multiple FDA & USDA pages and Chef Steps findings, and hoo boy! There is a lot of conflicting data out there about 20º F differences between whether that food is going to kill you or be delicious or be dry and tough.

But you don’t have to! Here are my conservative compilations after consulting with the master, who was just the nicest guy and I would have loved to sit rapt in his wisdom for even longer, but I had to surrender the conference room.

New Thrillist Post: How to Be an Awesome Barbecue Guest

BBQ, grilling, cookout…call it what you will — though I think that first word is significantly more nuanced — everybody loves it, and everybody who’s not worthless wants to contribute to the good times so their friends don’t do all the heavy lifting. I wrote a guide on being the kind of barbecue guest who gets invited back for my alma frater, Thrillist. Follow these tips and you will be welcome at my grill.

Also, the art team hired Jeremy Nguyen to illustrate it, and I always love seeing his art adorn my words.

Cracked: 5 Bizarre Comics Written By, And Starring, Celebrities

After a miserably unproductive 2016,* at least I kicked off this year in writing correctly by returning to Cracked with this piece on comics that celebrities wrote starring themselves…and how they got weird fast. Weird celebrity comics are nothing new. Bob Hope had a long-running series in which he sexually harassed women. Pat Boone just popped up in Superman like he wasn’t the worst. But weird celebrity comics written by the celebrities themselves…that’s your rarity.

Is Ultimate Warrior in there? Of course Ultimate Warrior is in there. But also some fun stops along the way, like the universally beloved** Michael Chiklis.

Best-case scenario this guy beat a saintly old elf into unconsciousness.

*The script for Indelible, Inc. #5 dragged my fingers across the keyboard for something like six months of revisions even though the story’s been assembled for well over a decade…and in turn retooled from the very first Indelible, Inc. story, a non-superhero team of adventurers that I wrote in college. Nothing has ever been so hard for me to create/compose/carve/compress/cut/conclude since I started writing. I’m taking some time away from it before I start lettering Rodolfo Buscaglia’s art so I can tell if it’s any good. (the writing, not the art. I know the art’s good, I paid for it.)  I went deep and couldn’t look at it clearly when it was done, but I think it pleases.

**unless you’re Bill Murray, who resents the Chik for playing Jim Belushi, but that guy touches people without their consent. And steals their fries. Like how would you feel if Bill Murray took your fry? You’d immediately stop being upset because “Oh look, it’s Bill Murray!” But it wouldn’t diminish the despair of one fewer fry on your plate. It’s a conflicting scenario. I think Shakespeare wrote about it in one of the lost plays: The Clown of the New World, one of his greatest tragedies and comedies, so it was.

What You’ll Find Here

I am a writer, editor, comedian, and occasional illustrator and graphic designer. You may have read my work on Cracked, Thrillist, CBS Local, or a few of the sites I’ve freelanced for. Or maybe you stumbled across my book on BBQ in a clearance bin, in which case, happy grilling.

You can read the comic books and comedy articles I’ve written in the menu above, and see the latest happenings below.