Bill O’Reilly Was the Most Emblematic Asshole of the ’00s

I could fill a list with what’s great about writing for the 1-900-HOTDOG pirate ship and its kind yet twisted crew, and I wouldn’t be too many entries in before it comes up that no era or area are off-limits. If you can make a fighting manual from the 19th Century into comedy that fits the site’s voice, go for it. This is extremely cathartic for those of who watched the truth get mutilated in the W years, while Justice get covered up for modesty by a guy who thought marijuana was equivalent to crack.

There’s a lot I’ve written here, and most of it I’ve deleted, because I think the simplest thing to say was Bill O’Reilly was an asshole well before he was outed as a hypocrite. So for this Thanksgiving and the next couple following, I’ll be using his patronizing kids’ book to help prepare you for the same brand of bullshit from your extended family at dinner. (Shout out to the commenter on the 1-900-HOTDOG version; that singularity line was my favorite, too. Thanks!)

Play a fun game and guess which chyrons I’ve really seen on Fox’s news crawl, vs. which I was inspired to cobble up over the course of 90 minutes while listening to the channel’s anthem (“Tomorrow Belongs to Me”) on repeat the entire time.

(Sidebar: The Authoritarians is an incredible free read from the same time period that warned of the danger that being a willfully stupid asshole brings, and portended everything in the Trump administration in an urgent warning not to…y’know, elect a Trump-like administration. It’s also funny, smart, kind, and reads like supplemental material from The Handmaid’s Tale to make you mourn the lost society…except Robert Altemeyer lives in Canada, so I suppose he’s safe.)

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