Baby Boxing Is the Secret Origin of the Navy SEALs

That’s my theory and you can’t convince me otherwise. The Navy sponsored baby boxing and 20 years later we got the first SEALs. Coincidence? An awfully convenient one, I say.

Oh, what’s that? Yes, you heard correctly. Toddler. Goddamn. BOXING.

Sure, we know about the kids brutalized in coke mines and upon printing presses, but the old days were also nuts for treating children like inexpensive toys. Come watch with me as a tiny tot is pressed to the mat relentlessly by a kid with six months’ growth and development over him. That is a significant portion of both their lives!