Riverdale’s Jesus Is a Groovy Dude

It’s 1-900-HOT-DOG time again, and this month we’re looking at Archie’s Sonshine, that licensed Spire comic book where the Riverdale gang meets—I kid you not—Jesus, but He’s pretending He’s just a random Christian, despite multiplying everyone’s food. Also, He lives in The Love Van, solicits teens to it at the beach, and basically creeps everyone … Read more

Stardust’s Greatest Kills, Part II: The Weirdening

Last month and also week, we began making fun of Stardust the Super Wizard over at 1-900-HOTDOG. This month, we conclude making fun of Stardust over at 1-900-HOTDOG. Nature has an order to it, you see. I mentioned on the journal entry for part one, about how Stardust might just be the demigod I’m looking … Read more

Stardust is Superman’s Weirdest Knock-Off

A new two-parter begins today at 1-900-HOTDOG, in which the mad mind of Fletcher Hanks gives us Stardust the Super Wizard, a merciless arbiter of…justice? Vengeance? Let’s just call it punishment. It’s weird! It was always weird! There are kids born in 1930 who have living memories today of thinking this was weird. Though he … Read more

The Beverly Hills Teens Lived a Cursed World

What if we’re in hell and we just don’t know it? That’s the question explored by every single episode of Beverly Hills Teens, last seen in my 1-900-HOTDOG debut. We return to that poisoned well today with “Look Deep Into My Eyes,” a hypnotism episode that asks, “What if young Donald Trump had been given … Read more

Buster Brown Is an Evil Ifrit (and Other Revelations From Our End Times)

Over at my most-beloved gig as a monthly columnist in the comedy website/burgeoning cult known as 1-900-HOTDOG, I wrote about the bug-eyed beauty Buster Brown. Buster is a very early character from the history of comics, who has not aged, sold more merch than Garfield, once adjusted for world population and production costs, and absolutely … Read more