Comida

Tasting Table asked its crew of writers to weigh in on America’s best cocktails, and I have to tell you, it did not take more than a moment’s consideration to know what my answer was. The Honey Bee at Caffe Dante was something else, and I tell you that as a man who’s pursued some … Read more

Two new articles are up at Tasting Table. The first is my very thoroughly researched guide on where to drink in NYC on St. Patrick’s Day, based on data compiled over two decades of me being an adult drunken Irish American. And lucky for you, the dwindling list of Inwood Irish bars lands you near … Read more

Yeah yeah, I know Whistlepig can be contentious among the whiskey scenesters, but I don’t care. I agreed to review this simply thinking it might prove useful for a future round-up list that Tasting Table is building up by the metric tonnage. Instead I was caught flat-footed by how much Whistlepig Beholden 21 grows on … Read more

It seemed so simple. Tasting Table asked me to define all the key bourbon terms. I thought I’d cement them handily in your minds while also simplifying and organizing them in my own memory. That’s how you learn, right? By teaching it in facile terms to others? Hoo boy! That was not what happened. My … Read more

Trains, the caterpillars of vehicles: except for backhoes and other vehicles made by the fine Caterpillar company. Look, the setup I’m going for here is that I did a Very Hungry Caterpillar at the new Moynihan Train Hall, whose Moynihan Food Hall, featuring The Bar at Moynihan (it’s called vertical branding, roll with it), is … Read more

The really fun part of working at Tasting Table is just about every week my editor David says, “Hey, do you want to get excited about telling peopl to support a great label of whiskey?” I say yes, and while getting hyped, research a less biased list so it’s not just all Bruichladdich or EH … Read more

Something a little fun and different at Tasting Table. The editors rounded up a nation’s worth of hungry writers and had us pick the pizzeria we would send anyone to in our fair city if travel weren’t an issue. I went with–okay, hear me out, YES the pizzeria on the corner of my old block, … Read more

It’s been a pleasantly junk food week, even if some of it is fast food at its most elevated. First Tasting Table sent me down to Shake Shack for a one-on-one tasting experience with their executive chef/VP of culinary innovation, so I could review each item in their new White Truffle Menu, available today through … Read more

Up at Tasting Table: Still Austin whiskeys review and overview. Not everyone will like this batch of Still Austin whiskeys sent my way for review (I already know one friend who swore off them before they ever reached me), but that’s okay, because they’re mostly available locally, and dpriced at a reasonable level. It’s not … Read more

Tasting Table tasked me with Talisker and other single malt scotch whiskies to recommend if you haven’t had them. I can’t lie to you: these tend to get expensive, so I tried to lump some normally priced bottles in there either under their own entries or piggybacking on others. I’m told that Burns Suppers go … Read more

In one of the most fun assignments I’ve yet enjoyed, I sampled way, way, way too many bottles of very yummy sugar water in a short period of time. My insulin levels aren’t coming down until summer, but it’s worth it, because I am now an expert in which soda to order when you’re in … Read more

Tasting Table tasked me with listing some rare bourbons that will demand much of your time and/or money to acquire, but are entirely obtainable if you’re willing. Whereas the previous rare bourbons roundup had been a lot of holy grail/endgame bottles, if you’re even lucky enough to encounter, these can generally be had by the … Read more

Tasting Table had me assess the four bottles of Four Roses you can get your hands on, plus the most recent batch of theoretically available ones that you may sniff one or two of in your life. It was fun! I mean, I got to drink a flight of one of America’s most respected bourbon … Read more

Looks like I’m getting to be the meat box subscription guy around these parts. Sizzlefish and Walden Local both sent me review boxes to assess, while 1792 whiskey invited…gosh, all of New York to Sony Hall to try their full line of whiskeys. I have ranked them all here. Now stay tuned for non-comestible comedy.

The HearstMade folks asked me to guide you through the differences in the various Glenfiddich gran/d/e series for Esquire, as barrels from different quarters of the world give their increasingly aged and expensive scotch whiskies new aspects that, quite frankly, you and I would have to splurge to enjoy. I got a very nice sampling … Read more

Hi, it’s me, the comestibles professional, here with another article: a ranking of every Olipop flavor, the prebiotic flavored tonic line that ain’t for everyone, but sure had me by the time I drank…let’s see, seven in one day. Dear lord. Tasting Table’s got my assessments, and I have to say, fruit and vanilla are … Read more

Let me tell you what an incredible opportunity this one was. My editor had told me to inquire about the new Van Winkle releases, but it turned out they don’t send press review samples. And hey, fair play, that stuff is a guaranteed hit, better to have a few more bottles for people to buy. … Read more

Beginning with the ChefsTemp Finaltouch X10 thermometer here, I’m reviewing food and drink and their associated tools and paraphernalia on this site now. There’s more of it rolling through Chez Bankshot than all the food and drink clients can approve or fits into their coverage style, and it helps me expand as a food and … Read more

Two new Tasting Table pieces are up: First, it’s your guide to celebrating Thanksgiving in NYC restaurants if you can’t entertain at home, don’t like to entertain at home, have too many people to entertain at home, or just don’t want people in your home. Me, I’m lighting out to Connecticut in a couple hours … Read more

The fun at Tasting Table just keeps escalating, as Goose Island sent me a case of its new Bourbon County stouts. Now I’m a stout-livered man, by which I mean I both favor this style of beer and can weather the imperial editions, but I have to say this is heady going. I would drink … Read more

My Hearst client list continues to expand (and yet another debut is in the hopper) with a Johnnie Walker collaboration that was very easy to say yes to when they asked me to wax fondly on the Scottish icon. These two pieces commemorate the high-rye and black label, so the science demanded I sample both … Read more

What are you doing Hallow’s E’en? I found you 15 parties that prove New York runs this Halloween game better than any other city–although nobody’s upset to find themselves in New Orleans come October, either. I did, in 2019, and it made me wish I could have stayed until Halloween itself. I tried to find … Read more

I’m neither a great man nor a stout man, but I am a great man for stouts. Embracing the malt in life while laughing at the prevalence of hoppy pale ales has led me to their opposite number: the malt terminator line, where the beer becomes an exercise in sweetness. You won’t find me ordering … Read more

Esquire asked me if I wanted to get hyped up about Bruichladdich. I told them you can’t hype up what’s already hyped, because Bruichladdich is my favorite label out of Scotland. (Yes, yes, I know, you’re thinking Lagavulin is a finer product, but I’m telling you what I adore as an entity.) It was an … Read more

Two new articles are up over at Tasting Table. The first is the exhaustively researched 16 Bourbons Every Collector Needs To Find, with the caveat that you need the price of a used car to afford most of them. But hey, it’s for collectors, but not happy drinkers…though I tried to work a few of … Read more

I’m back at Tasting Table with two new subscription box reviews in “Is ButcherBox Worth the Hype?” and “Is Omaha Steaks Worth the Hype?” My answer is yes for ButcherBox if you eat that much meat (it’ll pretty much feed one person for a month or a family of four a couple nights a week) … Read more

I did a few branded pieces for Popular Mechanics this year, starting off with a World Gold Council walkthrough on how gold makes cool things cooler. Quite literally in the case of the Webb telescope. You wouldn’t think you’d need an industry council promoting gold, but it exists and I assume its headquarters is incredible. … Read more

Two new articles are up over at Tasting Table: The 19 Best Root Beers and Every Insomnia Ice Cream Flavor, Ranked. In theory, you could take the best of both to make a root beer float. In practice, you should not. For you see, most of the Insomnia flavors are their “Cookies IN Cream” line, … Read more

I don’t eat much pork these days, because I happen to think pigs are pretty neat, but I do know my stuff when it comes to what chop falls on which side of the grill. Two articles are up at Tasting Table for your porcine cuisine needs: The Best Cuts of Pork for Grilling (high … Read more

There’s no accounting for taste, but you can aggregate it. Over at Tasting Table an assignment on best whiskeys with an E got overhauled when we dropped the Irish to focus on America’s best whiskey brands, including one or two whiskys. (who knew America had those?) I learned so much beyond what I’d already known … Read more

Tasting Table added some more entries to its list of best ice creams in America, and guess who scooped up that assignment?

Tasting Table asked me to enumerate all the ways you’re lousing up a good thing with this Instant Pot deal of ours in 13 Common Mistakes Everyone Makes With Their Instant Pot. Along the way I learned some stuff—about the Instant Pot, yes, but baby, also so much about myself! Anyway, here’s my list of … Read more

First in a series at my new freelance gig with Tasting Table comes “Mistakes Everyone Makes When Roasting Food.” If I do say so myself, it’s a comprehensive look, at least by internet article standards, at twice the length of the usual pieces. Why? Because I believe in people, and the people…the people believe in … Read more

I’ve read a bundle of different recipes on effectively velveting meat. This technique, primarily done for Asian stir-fry dishes, is also mighty useful in a lot of Italian pastas that can be seen as substitutionally equivalent. I find it most effective on shrimp, which love to ramp from “dangerously undercooked” to “tennis ball” in seconds … Read more

I’m not doing meat much these days, but I did fine-tune some principles of jerky before I went mostly vegetarian. Most articles, I’ve found, will give you the same advice about slicing across the grain, pulling it off while it’s still bendy, etc. I will assume that you know all these jerky basics and principles … Read more

Despite its (very British) title, that book I was hired to write a few years back now, The Man’s Book of the BBQ (buy it here!), is actually a celebration of grilling, not specifically smoking and slow-cooking and saucing. But that’s cool, because guys like Raichlen and Mixon are going to say all there is to say … Read more

BBQ, grilling, cookout…call it what you will — though I think that first word is significantly more nuanced — everybody loves it, and everybody who’s not worthless wants to contribute to the good times so their friends don’t do all the heavy lifting. I wrote a guide on being the kind of barbecue guest who gets … Read more

Over at Thrillist I crafted you three new articles: First, with the lovely Zofia Maria of Otto’s Shrunken Head, we devised Jose Cuervo cocktails unlike any you’ve had before (and by we, I mean 100% she did. I just nodded approvingly). Second, I crafted you a perfect first day in five U.S. cities, which is … Read more

Hello, did you know I’ve taken an editorial job at Thrillist? Of course you did not, because you’re not a creeper. Well, now you know. Dig it, here are a few of my latest scrawls when not editing other writers’ work: La Hora Loca Is, By Definition, the Craziest Hour at Any Party The 11 … Read more

I put to pen the praises for regionally popular sandwiches that aren’t ubiquitous in the United States yet but damn well should be over at my other new gig (see? I told you you wouldn’t have to wait long) with Thrillist. It’s a welcome return to the damn good sandwich series I did at Maxim and Man … Read more

Once you’ve had a Mago Barca, which, PS, I invented, you’ll never enjoy anything else. Except a banh mi. Or a grinder. Or the Mackenzie. Or…dang, man, there are just too many incredible sandwiches to be had. But I began the manly catalog of them with Damn Good Sandwiches for National Sandwich Day.

Some sandwiches get all the glory. Bellies of the world sing their bloated praises to the reubens, clubs, and grilled cheeses that delivered them, and these are all Damn Good Sandwiches we shall meet in due time. But today, friends, we’re going to praise a struggling talent that never gets its moment in the sun.* … Read more

Since Maxim‘s gone bloodless and removed their voluminous content from their site, it falls to me to remind you that there are just 27 days until you can gnash your teeth into the greatest thing America’s invented: the gobbler! Here’s my article for them, which I rescued, because I am wonderful and handsome. 

Here’s an article I wrote about healthy eating before I start deep frying macaroni & cheese balls with home-cured bacon for the Super Bowl. I invented some insane diets for Cracked, but couldn’t beat reality at its own game. If you’re wondering about this passage: And yes, he’s is a doctor of naturopathic medicine, but since … Read more

Kindly consider “manliest” in this circumstance to mean “Likeliest to kill you with their sugary assault on your pancreas,” and you’ll have a fine time reading my latest Maxim post. If you survive, congratulations, you’re a man. A man with diabetes, but a man. Did you remember to wish your sweetheart a happy World Diabetes … Read more

A couple new Maxim pieces for you: The Banh Mi is your newest Damn Good Sandwich entry. If you’ve never had one, slay all who did you the quiet violence of fostering your ignorance. If you haven’t had one by the time you finish reading this entry, that’s your own fault. Do the noble thing. … Read more

Cool Whip: The very name conjures up images of tasty summer treats that even those lame lactose-intolerant (or as we like to call them, lactose bigoted) kids can eat. But really, do you know what you’re putting in your body? No? Well for crying out loud, man, that’s what Asylum’s here for. Read on to see our … Read more

There’s a ton that fell off the map in the printed edition of The Man’s Book of the BBQ (PS — out Sept 1st in the states), but here’s just a bit from the introduction. I should probably steal this from myself and use it elsewhere. Pretty soon I’m going to need an “Unprovoked mockery … Read more

Lots of Vitamin B, according to this Wikipedia-fueled analysis I did for Asylum. I apologize in advance to Science. The makers of 5-Hour Energy Shot claim it delivers all of the rush with none of the crash that accompanies high-sugar energy drinks. So what’s in there to keep you alert? Thanks to Public Domain Pictures … Read more

Hours and hours of nudging text around until it fits into Asylum’s narrow column, apparently. Not my best layout, I admit, but I dissected General Mills ingredients for 9 hours and found a way to compare salt to Darth Vader.

So I wrote this topic for Cracked awhile back. It was never featured, but it ranked high enough in Google to for the production team at Hachette / Octopus to hire me to write their barbecue book. Considering I was smacking golf balls at the park in lieu of employment when they wrote to me, … Read more

Here’s what I’m making today: my mom’s recipe for these delicious, candy-like cookies that coagulate into sort of chocolate’s birds’ nests. They’re called Kindergarten Kookies because she used to send them into school on our birthdays. KINDERGARTEN KOOKIES In a mixing bowl: 3 cups oats 1/2 cup cocoa OR 1 square unsweetened chocolate 1 cup … Read more

This is the recipe for my dear aul’ sainted mother’s Irish soda bread, as told to her by her Wexfordian grandma, as told to me, as told to you. I don’t recommend you make it! I’m not even sure it’s “our” recipe or just something they pulled off of a bag of flour from the … Read more