• Oh Hi, I Write for Popular Mechanics Now
    I did a few branded pieces for Popular Mechanics this year, starting off with a World Gold Council walkthrough on how gold makes cool things cooler. Quite literally in the case of the Webb telescope. You wouldn’t think you’d need an industry council promoting gold, but it exists and I assume its headquarters is incredible. … Read more
  • Root Beer & Ice Cream, Uncombined
    Two new articles are up over at Tasting Table: The 19 Best Root Beers and Every Insomnia Ice Cream Flavor, Ranked. In theory, you could take the best of both to make a root beer float. In practice, you should not. For you see, most of the Insomnia flavors are their “Cookies IN Cream” line, … Read more
  • These Are the Best Pork Cuts for Grilling & Smoking
    I don’t eat much pork these days, because I happen to think pigs are pretty neat, but I do know my stuff when it comes to what chop falls on which side of the grill. Two articles are up at Tasting Table for your porcine cuisine needs: The Best Cuts of Pork for Grilling (high … Read more
  • America’s Best* Whiskeys, Remixed
    There’s no accounting for taste, but you can aggregate it. Over at Tasting Table an assignment on best whiskeys with an E got overhauled when we dropped the Irish to focus on America’s best whiskey brands, including one or two whiskys. (who knew America had those?) I learned so much beyond what I’d already known … Read more
  • These Are America’s Coolest Ice Cream Brands
    Tasting Table added some more entries to its list of best ice creams in America, and guess who scooped up that assignment?
  • Hey, Quit Using Your Instant Pot the Dumb Way, You Dumb Dummy
    Tasting Table asked me to enumerate all the ways you’re lousing up a good thing with this Instant Pot deal of ours in 13 Common Mistakes Everyone Makes With Their Instant Pot. Along the way I learned some stuff—about the Instant Pot, yes, but baby, also so much about myself! Anyway, here’s my list of … Read more
  • You’re Roasting Your Food Wrong. Let’s Fix It
    First in a series at my new freelance gig with Tasting Table comes “Mistakes Everyone Makes When Roasting Food.” If I do say so myself, it’s a comprehensive look, at least by internet article standards, at twice the length of the usual pieces. Why? Because I believe in people, and the people…the people believe in … Read more
  • The Easiest Way to Velvet Meat Is the Cheapest
    I’ve read a bundle of different recipes on effectively velveting meat. This technique, primarily done for Asian stir-fry dishes, is also mighty useful in a lot of Italian pastas that can be seen as substitutionally equivalent. I find it most effective on shrimp, which love to ramp from “dangerously undercooked” to “tennis ball” in seconds … Read more
  • All My Tips to Make Tasty Jerky, Safely & Affordably
    I’m not doing meat much these days, but I did fine-tune some principles of jerky before I went mostly vegetarian. Most articles, I’ve found, will give you the same advice about slicing across the grain, pulling it off while it’s still bendy, etc. I will assume that you know all these jerky basics and principles … Read more
  • New Thrillist Post: Everything That Happens In Your Grill at Every Temperature
    Despite its (very British) title, that book I was hired to write a few years back now, The Man’s Book of the BBQ (buy it here!), is actually a celebration of grilling, not specifically smoking and slow-cooking and saucing. But that’s cool, because guys like Raichlen and Mixon are going to say all there is to say … Read more
  • New Thrillist Post: How to Be an Awesome Barbecue Guest
    BBQ, grilling, cookout…call it what you will — though I think that first word is significantly more nuanced — everybody loves it, and everybody who’s not worthless wants to contribute to the good times so their friends don’t do all the heavy lifting. I wrote a guide on being the kind of barbecue guest who gets … Read more
  • Whiskey in Space! And Other Delights
    Over at Thrillist I crafted you three new articles: First, with the lovely Zofia Maria of Otto’s Shrunken Head, we devised Jose Cuervo cocktails unlike any you’ve had before (and by we, I mean 100% she did. I just nodded approvingly). Second, I crafted you a perfect first day in five U.S. cities, which is … Read more
  • New Thrillist: Bourbon, Beer, and Bombastic Parties
    Hello, did you know I’ve taken an editorial job at Thrillist? Of course you did not, because you’re not a creeper. Well, now you know. Dig it, here are a few of my latest scrawls when not editing other writers’ work: La Hora Loca Is, By Definition, the Craziest Hour at Any Party The 11 … Read more
  • My New Gig at Thrillist: Unsung Heroes
    I put to pen the praises for regionally popular sandwiches that aren’t ubiquitous in the United States yet but damn well should be over at my other new gig (see? I told you you wouldn’t have to wait long) with Thrillist. It’s a welcome return to the damn good sandwich series I did at Maxim and Man … Read more
  • Damn Good Sandwich: Coronation Chicken
    Some sandwiches get all the glory. Bellies of the world sing their bloated praises to the reubens, clubs, and grilled cheeses that delivered them, and these are all Damn Good Sandwiches we shall meet in due time. But today, friends, we’re going to praise a struggling talent that never gets its moment in the sun.* … Read more
  • Just 27 Days Till You’re Enjoying a Gobbler!
    Since Maxim‘s gone bloodless and removed their voluminous content from their site, it falls to me to remind you that there are just 27 days until you can gnash your teeth into the greatest thing America’s invented: the gobbler! Here’s my article for them, which I rescued, because I am wonderful and handsome. 
  • 10 Insane Diets No One Should Ever Try
    Here’s an article I wrote about healthy eating before I start deep frying macaroni & cheese balls with home-cured bacon for the Super Bowl. I invented some insane diets for Cracked, but couldn’t beat reality at its own game. If you’re wondering about this passage: And yes, he’s is a doctor of naturopathic medicine, but since … Read more
  • The Five Manliest Candies of 2011
    Kindly consider “manliest” in this circumstance to mean “Likeliest to kill you with their sugary assault on your pancreas,” and you’ll have a fine time reading my latest Maxim post. If you survive, congratulations, you’re a man. A man with diabetes, but a man. Did you remember to wish your sweetheart a happy World Diabetes … Read more
  • What’s in That Tub of Cool Whip?
    Cool Whip: The very name conjures up images of tasty summer treats that even those lame lactose-intolerant (or as we like to call them, lactose bigoted) kids can eat. But really, do you know what you’re putting in your body? No? Well for crying out loud, man, that’s what Asylum’s here for. Read on to see our … Read more
  • What’s Inside 5-Hour Energy Shots?
    Lots of Vitamin B, according to this Wikipedia-fueled analysis I did for Asylum. I apologize in advance to Science. The makers of 5-Hour Energy Shot claim it delivers all of the rush with none of the crash that accompanies high-sugar energy drinks. So what’s in there to keep you alert? Thanks to Public Domain Pictures … Read more
  • What’s inside a box of Cocoa Puffs?
    Hours and hours of nudging text around until it fits into Asylum’s narrow column, apparently. Not my best layout, I admit, but I dissected General Mills ingredients for 9 hours and found a way to compare salt to Darth Vader.
  • The Man’s Book of the BBQ
    So I wrote this topic for Cracked awhile back. It was never featured, but it ranked high enough in Google to for the production team at Hachette / Octopus to hire me to write their barbecue book. Considering I was smacking golf balls at the park in lieu of employment when they wrote to me, … Read more
  • Ma McGinley’s Kindergarten Kookies
    Here’s what I’m making today: my mom’s recipe for these delicious, candy-like cookies that coagulate into sort of chocolate’s birds’ nests. They’re called Kindergarten Kookies because she used to send them into school on our birthdays. KINDERGARTEN KOOKIES In a mixing bowl: 3 cups oats 1/2 cup cocoa OR 1 square unsweetened chocolate 1 cup … Read more
  • My Family’s Soda Bread Recipe
    This is the recipe for my dear aul’ sainted mother’s Irish soda wheat bread, as told to her by her Westmeathian grandma, as told to me, as told to you. I don’t recommend you make it! I’m not even sure it’s “our” recipe or just something they pulled off of a bag of flour from … Read more