Commentary

I’m back on 1-900-HOTDOG’s Dogg Zzone 9000, talking about a bonkers 2005 semi-satire called Liberality for All, in which those dastardly libs win the 2000 election and the unthinkable happens: they fail to prevent 9/11. The capitulating, America-hating betrayers on the left make us weak to our enemies, but also create a fascist state capable … Read more

Good lord, what a world. My fellow Hot Dog Journeyman Dennard Dayle stepped in to co-host The Dogg Zzone in Brockway’s absence, and it fell to me to play the role of person totally able to countenance the bizarre triumvirate of breakdancing (Dennard’s thing), pro wrestling/MMA (Sean’s thing), and unhinged conspiracy theories (ah, there’s my … Read more

My old department at Thrillist, the sponsored & branded folks formerly known as CoLab, asked me to tackle two articles: one on all the outdoor fun in and around NYC no matter how urban and indoors we like to imagine ourselves. The other is my best adventuring advice for those of you who do exit … Read more

Esquire asked Toronto’s Peter Ash Lee to give the low-down on his favorite spots to eat and find fun when he’s not shooting fashion photography, and I put it all in a package for your reading pleasure and reference, should you find yourself casting about for fun there.

Well look who’s back at Thrillist. My old employer tapped me to tackle three baseball pieces in conjunction with Corona. The first of them is now up. The Best Seats at the Ballpark for Every Type of Fan is a guide to finding your perfect parking spot for your posterior based on what kind of … Read more

Last month and also week, we began making fun of Stardust the Super Wizard over at 1-900-HOTDOG. This month, we conclude making fun of Stardust over at 1-900-HOTDOG. Nature has an order to it, you see. I mentioned on the journal entry for part one, about how Stardust might just be the demigod I’m looking … Read more

A new two-parter begins today at 1-900-HOTDOG, in which the mad mind of Fletcher Hanks gives us Stardust the Super Wizard, a merciless arbiter of…justice? Vengeance? Let’s just call it punishment. It’s weird! It was always weird! There are kids born in 1930 who have living memories today of thinking this was weird. Though he … Read more

What if we’re in hell and we just don’t know it? That’s the question explored by every single episode of Beverly Hills Teens, last seen in my 1-900-HOTDOG debut. We return to that poisoned well today with “Look Deep Into My Eyes,” a hypnotism episode that asks, “What if young Donald Trump had been given … Read more

Over at my most-beloved gig as a monthly columnist in the comedy website/burgeoning cult known as 1-900-HOTDOG, I wrote about the bug-eyed beauty Buster Brown. Buster is a very early character from the history of comics, who has not aged, sold more merch than Garfield, once adjusted for world population and production costs, and absolutely … Read more

Do you remember 1999’s action sci-fi comic book Nash? Sure, we all don’t. I don’t even think 1999 remembered it, because wrestler/writer Kevin Nash put out two issues through Image Comics, but not a third. Regardless, it’s a trip, and I reviewed it for 1-900-HOTDOG before falling under its spell and fulfilling my longstanding vow … Read more

Sure, name one Vanilla Ice song and survey says it’s “Ice, Ice, Baby.” Name two and it’s “Ninja Rap.” Name three and I am growing uncomfortable with this line of questioning, sir, get out of my living room. But if you want the most characteristic Vanilla Ice song, it has to be the confused seduction … Read more

Advertisers in the ’80s had no idea what to do with video games. Think of everything you’ve seen depicted in Mad Men, now picture those exact same survivors of childhood in the Depression, but older and just burning their days until retirement, trying to sell 8-bit computer games to children in a decade exultant in … Read more

I wrote this in 2013, recently rediscovered it, and still enjoy it. We are so lucky to have Mel Brooks. If you’re not laughing, you’re not living. And if you’re not living you’re–A ZOMBIE! KILL IT! But for lessons in how to do that, you’re better off consulting World War Z author Max Brooks. So until the zombie … Read more

Are you scared about the future? Scared about the present? Scared there’s no future? Let the past reassure you, thanks to the most devoted* adaptation of the DC Universe ever put to film. Over at 1-900-HOTDOG I reviewed Legends of the Superheroes: The Challenge and The Roast, and found them strangely wonderful? They do exactly … Read more

Hello, world. I’ve been learning Python, Javascript, and Java the past week, and as a complete newbie, I had a warm moment to learn that “Hello, world” is the common first thing to run in each program. It’s a nice way to start a journey. Being who I am, it came to me (and likely … Read more

I’m back at Does This Still Work?, where I finally get around to watching Die Hard, and I’m here to tell you: it’s got all the elements of a Christmas movie, just set against the heartwarming action of a hostage situation. The part we should really be concerned about is the inspirational B-story of a … Read more

Material You is ugly, Android 12’s design choices tank its functionality, and Boomers ruin everything. And worst of all: it’s imposed on you without option to revert under the hypocritical guise of “personalization.”

Hi, it’s me, the guy who hated Hereditary so hard I now own all the Google results for any variation of “Hereditary bad.” I watched Midsommar with my girlfriend, who rented it over my objection that we steal it and reclaim the money A24 will never refund to us. And guess what? I really liked … Read more

I am now a monthly columnist at 1-900-HOT-DOG, building upon my previous guest posts. Featuring a snazzy new painting of moi by old friend and polymath comic wizard Michael Bramley! First article: War Crime Comics: The Hood, a Nerding Day adventure in which I look into the Golden Age of superhero comics to examine not … Read more

What’d you do with 2020? I spent every day grinding through Indelible, Inc. #6, which wasn’t originally a grind until I got into the third month or so of trying to organize the century-long spell that binds its villainous conspiracy. Along the way, I did an immense amount of reading into the history of, among … Read more

I’m doing some pop culture stress-testing over at RSVLTS, the pop culture site turned clothier turned pop culture site again, and first at bat, is revisiting The Goonies to see if the math shakes out on this fun childhood fantasy about saving the day, kissing the girl, and one-upping your tough older brother. The RSVLTS … Read more

My longtime stand-up comedy buddy Joe Dixon (he hosted the first open mic I ever played) and my more recent buddy via Joe, George Romaka, host a podcast where they check how well old movies hold up artistically, creatively, and culturally. From their list, I picked The Jerk because I knew it was prime Steve … Read more

Ugh, teens, they’re the worst. Except for the elderly, who are trying to take us all with them when they die. And middle-aged people, we’re boring. And children, who are irrational animals. And babies, who pollute everything. Anyway, the worst teens, as you might expect, are the rich ones. That’s why over at 1-900-HOT-DOG I … Read more

I’m far from a structuralist hardliner. By all means, flip things around. Change the way stories are told. Form follows function, and if you can make it fly, I’m buying a ticket. But ughhhhhhh, nothing happens in The Assistant. At its most generous description, The Assistant is a series of vignettes very well enacted by … Read more

Gentlemen and brutes, you would both do well to study the life of John L. Sullivan, aka The Boston Strong Boy. He was not only the first world heavyweight champ of gloved boxing, but the last bare-knuckle one. A mighty Irishman with a prodigious appetite for food, drink and fisticuffs, Sullivan fought over 450 matches in his career, … Read more

If I made it to the top of the Hollywood heap and directed the highest grossing film of all time, I know exactly what my next move would be: Grimjack. I’ve mused on how it could be done a hundred times — all of them terrible ideas because I’m not a film-maker. But to my … Read more

or, How a Lunatic Murderer Coached My Teen Years It’s the smile that makes Grimjack who he is. You might argue his trademark characteristic is the scar on his eye — and it’s true that was the first thing I noticed when I discovered him a lifetime ago — but it’s not, nor the streak … Read more

Just in time for NY Comic-Con, I wrote a piece for MEL magazine analyzing how Thanos is a nice guy in the least nice sense of the word. In fact, going back to 1973, his near-complete history of villainy — almost all of it written by Jim Starlin — is driven by textbook “Nice” Guy … Read more

Welcome back. In part one, we looked at the simple idea of how getting a direct deposit payment from a client ought to earn you a bank bonus — in essence, getting paid twice for working once. In part two, we showed the main obstacles people find to trying this for themselves, and the built-in … Read more

Welcome back to the freelancer’s guide to harvesting bank bonuses. In part one, we showed freelancers are optimized to reap bank bonuses via payments from multiple clients. Today I’ll run down all the reasons you might balk at opening multiple bank accounts, and then show the answers that resolve your concerns, valid though they may … Read more

I promise you, this actually works and isn’t just a clickbait headline. Harvest bank bonuses to double your income and make more money freelancing.

Oh, does your musical biography picture show the musician displaying early talent as an irascible child? Bully for you, but the Little Richard biopic will still have it beaten, because it’s going to feature a 14-year-old Richard “War Hawk” Penniman opening for Sister Rosetta Tharpe in a turban before going full drag as “Princess LaVonne.” … Read more

From the gleeful schadenfreude of this Guardian review of Serenity comes this brutal slice at the — apparently very bad film’s– knees in one proper noun and its least relevant / most pertinent adjective: The arrival of Baker’s femme fatale ex-wife Karen (Anne Hathaway, blonde)  Whoof. Don’t ever let me on your bad side, Charles … Read more

Last night, for the first time in my decades upon this earth, I asked a movie theater for my money back. They declined, and I can have no peace, because the most heartfelt statement of my 2018 will be this: God, I hate Donald Trump. But a close second? Hereditary is a bad movie. Not only bad, … Read more

Like everyone else in America who wasn’t eradicated in the course of Thanos’s quest for the Infinity Stones, I was front and center for Avengers: Infinity War. I was present for the original one in comics, too, both the brain-meltingly high-stakes Infinity Gauntlet that this film most resembles, and the follow-up Infinity War. (I think I ran out of … Read more

Back a ways, I wrote a piece for Cracked, 9 Iconic Superheroes Based on Real People in which I said Howard Chaykin had designed the uniform of my favorite superhero, Guy Gardner. That’s the way it was always told to me, and that’s the way I even recall reading it in an article or two. Well, thereafter, … Read more

Over at the ol’ Thrillist I had time to compile the most stunning moments in 2017 television (warning! TV spoilers are like the entire point of that article) alongside my colleagues Christie and Andrea. It didn’t matter if it was a cliffhanger, a twist, a reveal, or whathaveye as long as it made us leap off our collective American … Read more

After a miserably unproductive 2016,* at least I kicked off this year in writing correctly by returning to Cracked with this piece on comics that celebrities wrote starring themselves…and how they got weird fast. Weird celebrity comics are nothing new. Bob Hope had a long-running series in which he sexually harassed women. Pat Boone just popped … Read more

Hey, look! New article by me at Thrillist: The Best Shows & Movies to Stream on Amazon Prime, in which I run down the broadcasts most worthy of your time, both native and immigrant to the streaming service. Is Veronica Mars on there? You’d better believe Veronica Mars is on there. And also some neat stuff you’ve probably never … Read more

So there’s a sad story behind this one. I conceived of Lit all of a sitting one day at a bar near Washington Square Park called Pinch. At the time it seemed kind of weird to have all these people discovering the conspiracy at once, so I wanted to flip it from the other side, … Read more

Pursuant to today’s Google Doodle, here’s a piece I wrote for Maxim years ago, about why Hedy Lamarr is your hero and/or fantasy woman: TIME CRUSH: Hedy Lamarr Listen, brother, there are more ladies in Heaven than Earth, and these are the ones we dream of in our philogyny. If Maxim were around in Ancient … Read more

Look! Superheroes you didn’t know had real-life counterparts! So: story time. My favorite Super Bowl memory was that time I didn’t see Janet Jackson’s breast. 

I started to do this for Man Cave Daily, and then the schedule exploded and now it’s well and truly past its opportunity. Anyway ComicsAlliance did it more intelligently than I ever could, and others have done it more thoroughly. And poignantly (though with some errors, e.g. Nora O’Rourke). Anyway, here’s what I managed to get done. 

I’ll catch up with everything I’ve gotten done at Man Cave soon (and boy are there loads of it), but this is too cool not to share: fifteen minutes in Heaven with Grant Morrison, talking about next week’s Ultra Comics, general description of The Multiversity, and what he’s got cooking with Wonder Woman. Oh, and we … Read more

I’m back at Cracked! This week’s article is about people who either lacked talent but succeeded BECAUSE of it, (not despite, which would describe most of the Billboard 100 who are just ciphers for the music industry execs to make the records they want to make) although in editing the title got changed to 5 Star Performers Who … Read more

Boy, did I have a good time in Chicago. I usually just wander around, say hi to some friends in artists’ alley and see the city. Generally, the less I’m at the show, the more fun I have (and the more local cuisine I sup up). But this year I was interviewing creators for my … Read more

I apologize profusely for this but I’m working through my grief. Spoilers below the cut

We know Adam Sandler is funny. We’ve seen it happen. It’s not a fluke. And look, everyone has their missteps. But at least something like Little Nicky, you can say he tried for an intriguing idea, or Zohan, you can see why it would be funny in the right hands. But I don’t think he’s trying … Read more

Today is Great Poetry Reading Day at the end of National Poetry Month, so I took some time over at Cracked to catalog The Most Cold-Blooded Poems of All Time. In western lit. In the last few hundred years. …Yeah, this might just be a list of poems I like because they’re cold-blooded. But it’s still … Read more

Had a new piece awhile back on Cracked, but my website got hacked, so I couldn’t post it here before. Apocrypha — there’s always some. A lot in this one, actually, but hey, them’s the sponsored articles.  This was originally the lead. It still rules. Get bent, editors: No doubt a few of you gamers … Read more

This was an article I did for Asylum back in 2010. I don’t think it ever ran. These folks had developed software that would paste your photo on celebrities’ skulls, without any regard for how giant your face was. And then they sent a stunning redhead to demonstrate it to me because someone told them … Read more

I wrote Five Reasons Cinco de Mayo is the Most American Holiday Ever last week, and then Five Folklore Monsters Hollywood Should Make into Films a couple days later. But–what, ho! A twist! The latter was completed first?! Zounds! All the “Tip!” pictures on the Cinco de Mayo page were from my vacation in Mexico … Read more

Today is Mr. Rogers’s 85th birthday and the tenth year since his passing, so I wrote a column about him over at Cracked. A lot of people liked it, and one guy even started a petition to the White House calling for March 20th to officially become Rogers Day—a day to do something kind for … Read more

Hi, internet! Let’s be best friends forever with my newest contribution to the Cracked collective:  Five Physical Traits that Determine if a Character Is Evil. You’ll like it because it names a lot of movies you recognize, and then you can feel safe because we all share these pop cultural experiences even if we didn’t … Read more

At long, long, way-too-long last: a new Cracked column! Five Reasons the Scariest Thing Ever Written Is a Kids’ Book. Because we all read and loved Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Or we were taken away in the night and replaced with a changeling that does not feel. Sorry for all the delay. … Read more

I’m trying to break out of my slow, skull-crushing, overwrought column work, and I miss writing comics, so I slung one stone at two birds and dashed off this script questioning Battleship’s existence. And Mauro, being Mauro, drew it lickety-split. He also did the colors on this one. Coming Soon to a Theater Near You … Read more

I didn’t have much in 2010, but for half an hour a week, I had a place to go that wasn’t blistering with fury and hunger and loneliness and poverty. It was a despair cocktail, but thankfully I had two things: a few true friends, and a show that could make me laugh no matter … Read more

This ran in Maxim last month (hooray! I’m in print! Boo! I’m in a dying medium.) but we clipped it down to more of a timeline. As a reward for enduring this surprisingly harmless and not-terribly-stupid-but-yeah-kinda-dorky-yet-charming show, they plopped me down the next month in front of the first season of Game of Thrones. I’ve … Read more

A pratfall is specifically one plopping down on one’s ass. No faceplants here. We compiled the best fall-down-go-boom shots because we care about your well-being, and laughter is the best medicine. No, that’s a lie: antivirals are. But also, we only did this so we could point at people and laugh at them while they’re … Read more

Another MTV Clutch piece back when GIF roundups were the rage in 2011. Enjoy! The internet is awash in GIFs people will recognize as “Popular character acting like popular character.” Beyond that are millions more of self-explanatory moments like a beautiful woman being a beautiful woman, a candid reaction, or simply Simon Pegg throwing a … Read more

The internet runs on two things: GIFs and Batman (strangely, not so much on GIFs of Batman). So instead of Batman, here are some skateboarding tricks, which, since Batman isn’t real, are the second most awesome thing in the universe. (The first is dames!) And keep searching for GIFs of Batman on a skateboard. This … Read more

MTV Clutch asked me to write up sighful paeans to the following GIFs, then folded up shop before it ever ran. If you own any of these, let me know if you want them taken down. I just provided the words, folks. Video is beyond my capabilities.

If that isn’t a “click here” bouquet, I don’t know what is. The last of my MTV Clutch articles are gathered here, meaning you get five articles on the joys of the internet, including one that never made it to print. 5 Batman-Worthy Skateboard Trick GIFs — Includes skate kid vs. car Weird Out-of-Context TV … Read more

Here’s the king of all action in my final Maxim Dirty Briefs writeup. Goodnight, Dirty Briefs. I’ll miss you like I miss Bruce Lee. EDIT: Apparently that article didn’t survive their site reboot, so here it is.

Two new posts over at MTV Clutch: 7 Brutally Funny GIFs Of Animals Being Jerks, and Top 5 Most Triumphant Juggalo Moments Of 2011. Original text below the cut, since they abbreviated some jokes and made less fun of juggalos and didn’t call out Eminem. I gotta admit though, bully bison was a pretty good … Read more

I love what I do, but it’s not rocket science. It’s more like magic. And that’s why I love Jack Parsons, who did both while taking a pro-civil liberties stance. If you want to read about one of the most interesting men who ever lived, then you should be reading the newest Profile in Manlitude … Read more

I do more Photoshop at 5 a.m. than most armies do all day. Like this Zooey Deschanel riff on a movie which I haven’t heard of but know everyone else hates. Nick Nadel gave it a nice synopsis to go along with it (the article was his idea. I was fully a hired gun on … Read more

Another one for Maxim. It’s Monkey Day! Everyone loves monkeys, except people who were raised by banana trees. Those folks swore vengeance to the jungle moon that they would kill monkeys wherever they found them, by making them slip on banana peels and fall down painfully. It’s…admittedly inefficient. But that’s good! Because it guarantees us lots … Read more

I’m talking turkey all around the web this week: “When Turkeys Attack!” on TheFW and “Gaga or Thanksgiving Table Setting” is scheduled to run there today. At some point you should get “Beyond Turducken: Turkey Monstrosities” on Guyspeed, while over at Maxim they’re holding posts for “Strange Foes: Turkeys vs U.S. Postal Service” and “Damn … Read more

Kevin “Dot Com” Brown and I talked about his prospects for the presidency next year, and we announced him as Maxim’s official candidate. Hooray! Election Day put an end to tedious campaign coverage last week! Now the country can finally focus on what matters: next year’s Election Day! Maxim found its presidential candidate early; Kevin Brown plays … Read more

Part One Part Two This is a weird one for me because I think it’s the worst job I’ve yet done interviewing someone and yet the product is one of the better interviews, so I have to fully credit the subject. He gave me over an hour of his time, and a lot of really … Read more

Note: this article appears to be obliterated, even from the Internet Archive Oh no, the Halloween party starts in 20 minutes and you have no costume! Lucky for you, you need look no further than a one-size-stretches-to-fit-all morphsuit. With no accessories you can be one of America’s favorite gimps, as detailed in my latest Maxim … Read more

Dad and I anti-fished, which is when you dump hundreds of pounds of salmon into the Shetucket River, and I wrote about it for Maxim. Man, I’m never going to forget that grinder we ate afterward. I may name a child after it. Failures in Manlitude: Stocking The Rivers Of America In a change from … Read more

New “Background Check: Jemima Rooper” piece is up at Maxim’s Dirty Briefs blog. She’s a talented lady (which is my first criterion in attraction) who is usually found kissing other women (which is Maxim’s) in respectable dramatic productions (which is theater’s). Caution: the rest of the post is vintage blue movie lesbian scenes from Black … Read more

Didn’t write it, but did compose the infographic for the fine folks at Townsquare and TheFW.

A couple new Maxim pieces for you:

Double-dose of Maxim entries today: Your guide to the Hank Williamses of the world. …and a quick profile of Mad Men’s Carolyn Jones, a.k.a. Cassandra Jean (Peggie’s friend’s girlfriend). Go read it. It makes fun of Tyra Banks, which is important work, lest we all become far too attracted to her to do any real … Read more

New article up today, rounding up the best drawings of Batman mixed with Star Wars. Because that’s all the Internet is, you know. Also, an old Maxim article I don’t think I ever linked to: Do It Yourself — everything from hide-tanning to robot-building, plus some actually useful stuff (and good one-liners) in between. And … Read more

I was excited to draw this page for The Gutters, because the only people who get to draw Grant Morrison into comics are artists for Animal Man or The Invisibles. This page, in no small part due to the fantastic colors (which are not my work), came out looking pretty good after a very, very … Read more

Eric is reviewing every one of DC’s new 52 books. And since he ought to be writing for them rather than about them, he has a good take on what works and what doesn’t.

I’ve begun blogging every Monday and Wednesday for Maxim, with the first instances being Four Ads That Nearly Ruined Great Songs and a feature called “Background Check,” where I spot up-and-comers — in this case, Carly Foulkes, a.k.a. T-Mobile Girl, a.k.a. Retro Girl.   I guess you’ve noticed that the comic publication is a little … Read more

Maxim offered me money to crush on 23 women from the small screen, which is funny, because I was doing exactly that when they called. Kat Dennings, 2 Broke Girls Where: CBSWhen: Mondays, 9:30/8:30cWhy: The show’s title belies the fact that there is absolutely nothing broke on curvaceous Kat Dennings. She makes blind men weep … Read more

“[…]or pony-trekking in Snowdonia. A note of caution: the latter is in Wales, so you may have a mischievous encounter with the nation’s indigenous elves, or worse, the Welsh.” It’s going to be a dry fall.

Clutch asked me to ogle athletic Eastern Europeans, and I said, “Da.” Note: This link and article have evaporated thanks to internet decay.

ttp://www.cracked.com/blog/author/BrendanMcGinley/”> New Gentleman Bastard today, and by the way, thanks for buying my BBQ book, which I assume you did because it came out on my birthday and you want me to be happy. If you’re in New York, I’ll sign your copy with someone else’s name and a drawing of an octopus. This column … Read more

Did you know there’s going to be a Kanye West musical? I can’t wait for the bit where he leaps around the theatre while the Green Goblin pursues him. Original text below. The good: There’s going to be a Kanye West musical! The bad: It will affirm everything he tells himself about himself in the … Read more

My old boss Adam Raymond researched these lyrics and then shipped them my way for Photoshoppery. Note: This link and article have evaporated thanks to internet decay.

Zoe Saldana is what happens when glamour has a torrid affair with talent. The New Jersey native is perhaps best known for her role as Britney Spears’ friend in the film ‘Crossroads’ ‘Star Trek’s Lt. Uhura, but her breakout role was the sexy blue cat-lady Neytiri in ‘Avatar.’ You may have also seen her in … Read more

When Townsquare Media asked if I would write about the beauty of each female they could summon from their list of crushes, I said sure. I was going to wax rhapsodic on that topic just walking down the street, so I might as well do it for the internet. So with that, here’s the original … Read more

Someone in England wrote this article, and then I Americanized it, turning every wry witticism into toilet humor. I also swapped out odd-toed ungulates for Alpha Flight, because they’re terrible, whereas ungulates are an alright order of mammals in my book. Wikipedia page: Donaudampf schiffahrtselektrizitatenhaupt betriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft (all one word) Which is what? An incredibly long … Read more

Nick Nadel and I pointed out that celebrities probably don’t have a lot of real friends for MTV Clutch last week, but I didn’t have the internet to tell you about it. Update: this has been obliterated even from the internet archive.

Over at Maxim, where, PS, I’ll shortly be able to announce a new gig, I wrote about five incredibly audacious criminals who didn’t really think through their crimes all the way through. And at the intersection of bold and stupid, you’ll find: balls. Huge, criminal balls. Sometimes, having a great plan isn’t nearly as important … Read more

This ran at Maxim, and it was pure chance that all the approved animals started with an H. I could probably find something reprehensible about hippos, but some things should remain pure and good and murderous. Evolution isn’t so much a tree as water running down a hillside: It takes the easiest path available, no … Read more

But it is not Count my grammatical errors! There’s at least one in the Super Mario line.

In which we see other applications for that many gallons of oil, graphic by me, based on the research and text by Wendy Rose Gould, below: It’s estimated that at least 5 million gallons of oil (and now looking like probably much, much more) will have gushed into the Gulf of Mexico as a result … Read more

The greatest general of all time, according to the actual greatest general of all time, is mistakenly regarded by most people as synonymous with loss. In Hannibal’s opinion, the greatest general of all time–and he ought to know even if he’s being modest–was Pyrrhus of Epirus. We tend to think of Pyrrhus as a loser … Read more

Here’s my very first Asylum article, followed by some bonus material. Happy birthday, President Washington! What made Ol’ Wooden Chompers the Father of Our Country (besides spending all of mom’s money on drink), was his sheer will to make the army function. When the Pennsylvania Line mutinied, Washington did the unexpected: He took their grievances … Read more

New Asylum article went up today! The Love Almanac. It’s got a real purty infographic made specially for you. Every year, February builds up to that one holiday that means so much to so many: Presidents Day. What most people don’t realize is that another day, hidden in the mix, promises love and joy to … Read more

Over at Cracked. Let me save you some time: TL;DNR Those of you brave enough to soldier forward, enjoy some bonus material: Broadway musicals, by the way, are where America’s most talented friends we haven’t seen since high school went to pour all of themselves into America’s least worthwhile remakes. It’s like opera minus the … Read more

Over at Asylum they asked me to do a flashy chart for Andy Green’s article on horrifying facts about lady parts. And I said “Flashy? No no no, let us be demure.” What’s a tasteful way of making a visual representation for that kind of thing? I went for an anterior view of the pubic … Read more