This was an article I did for Asylum back in 2010. I don’t think it ever ran. These folks had developed software that would paste your photo on celebrities’ skulls, without any regard for how giant your face was. And then they sent a stunning redhead to demonstrate it to me because someone told them … Read more
Cool Whip: The very name conjures up images of tasty summer treats that even those lame lactose-intolerant (or as we like to call them, lactose bigoted) kids can eat. But really, do you know what you’re putting in your body? No? Well for crying out loud, man, that’s what Asylum’s here for. Read on to see our … Read more
Nick Nadel and I co-plotted this off his idea for an article about advertising mascot movies, then I did the Photoshop while he wrote all the text below. We had a lot of fun, and I’ll tell you a secret: I fought so hard for the Burger King Fellini film I think I came down … Read more
Someone in England wrote this article, and then I Americanized it, turning every wry witticism into toilet humor. I also swapped out odd-toed ungulates for Alpha Flight, because they’re terrible, whereas ungulates are an all right order of mammals in my book. Wikipedia page: Donaudampf schiffahrtselektrizitatenhaupt betriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft (all one word) Which is what? An incredibly … Read more
In which we see other applications for that many gallons of oil, graphic by me, off research and text by Wendy Rose Gould.