Satire-Day: Chuck Klosterman on Infantile Leukemia

Chuck Klosterman on Infantile Leukemia

Ladies and gentlemen, today we’re proud to bring you guest blogger Chuck Klosterman, explaining the pop relevance of childhood terminal diseases. It’s become cool to like infantile leukemia, which actually means it’s totally uncool to like infantile leukemia. I think you know what I mean by this. There was a time in our very recent … Read more

For fun

I remember well the final time I saw Proust. Our eyes locked amid the smoke of a cafe in Montmarts, flakes of crueller framing those lips of his like angels dancing around the sun. I got up to greet him, then remembered, NO! He detested affection. Sneering, I threw my coffee at him and sat … Read more

From the lost “Adventures of Captain Cosmosis”

“Oh, I’d stay away, Captain,” hissed Malovolovio, his ruby claw caressing the sizzling electro-device. “Unless you want…” A smile passed over his face like a mercury breeze. “Brain cancer.” “Brain cancer? BRAIN cancer?” yelped Captain Cosmosis eagerly, “HEY! This fellow’s giving out free brain cancer!” The ensuing stampede trampled Malovolovio to brittle, sodlike pieces. “Wh…” … Read more

From the alternate history of these United States:

Wallace Groate was by no one’s estimation gubernatorial material. Governors are unapologetically larger than reality, seven-foot of man crammed into six feet of iron, with a football neck and very often a ruddy complexion*, possibly caused by the strain of their own gravity. Wallace Groate was none of these, except perhaps prone to rubicose moments, … Read more