New Cracked column: What to Expect When Your Ex Is Expecting

What to Expect When Your Ex is Expecting

I listened to four versions of “Pursuit of Happiness” a sum 219 times to bring you this latest Cracked Column, every one of them drunk and then edited sober, and you are welcome for this unrequested sojourn into my dark country. Here’s your customary apocrypha: The world has been given over to the young. You … Read more

The Six Types of People Everyone Dates (a User’s Guide)

Hi, internet! I wrote my dating memoirs and pretended they were satire. It’s a handy companion to Things Every Woman Should Know About Nice Guys. Also, it’s trite, so don’t go complaining to me that I didn’t include the Moody Artist or Your Granddad But Younger, or whatever your personal mistakes are. Me, I miss … Read more

Six Illogical Arguments for Gay Marriage

Over at Cracked. Let me save you some time: TL;DNR Those of you brave enough to soldier forward, enjoy some bonus material: Broadway musicals, by the way, are where America’s most talented friends we haven’t seen since high school went to pour all of themselves into America’s least worthwhile remakes. It’s like opera minus the … Read more

Textual Attraction

I shouldn’t have taken this assignment. I forgot that I’m a shaman, and by the time Asylum killed the article, it had come true. Anyone who’s ever endured a long-distance relationship knows how much modern telecommunications have helped a couple stay in touch throughout the days and weeks. But it can also add a strain, … Read more