‘Verotika’ Is the Worst Movie Ever Made

Do you think that’s a clickbait headline? Those are the most carefully chosen words of my existence, and I’ve had to counsel friends through trauma. I have never seen a film so ignorant in the language of film. It’s as though Glenn Danzig is inventing the medium from scratch in the 1880s, except if Glenn … Read more

Did the Goonies Really Save Their Homes?

What was the foreclosure threat toThe Goonies

I’m doing some pop culture stress-testing over at RSVLTS, the pop culture site turned clothier turned pop culture site again, and first at bat, is revisiting The Goonies to see if the math shakes out on this fun childhood fantasy about saving the day, kissing the girl, and one-upping your tough older brother. The RSVLTS … Read more

Critics Don’t Know Anything; Avoid ‘The Assistant’ at All Costs

Nothing happens in the Assistant, don't watch it

I’m far from a structuralist hardliner. By all means, flip things around. Change the way stories are told. Form follows function, and if you can make it fly, I’m buying a ticket. But ughhhhhhh, nothing happens in The Assistant. At its most generous description, The Assistant is a series of vignettes very well enacted by … Read more

‘The Devil’s Child’: A Little Richard Biopic Would Blow Every Other Musical Biography Film to Smithereens

Anna Bleker photo of Little Richard

Oh, does your musical biography picture show the musician displaying early talent as an irascible child? Bully for you, but the Little Richard biopic will still have it beaten, because it’s going to feature a 14-year-old Richard “War Hawk” Penniman opening for Sister Rosetta Tharpe in a turban before going full drag as “Princess LaVonne.” … Read more